it's a(nother) miracle!

I've had a scorching headache on and off for a month now, courtesy of jaw displacement from my fun hour long tooth extraction. When I had that figured out, I called Tammy to come do cranial sacral, that miracle technique that saved my life a few year's back when I had other head problems. She worked on me the day before we left for Florida, but kept going, "Ooh," and tsking, so that I knew it was really bad. Everywhere she touched on my head it hurt.

So it wasn't surprising to me that over the course of these past five days my headache's gotten worse and worse, as I held my jaw tight through the crowds at Epcot, maneuvered through traffic on Interstate 4, and overall got more and more stressed out just from the travel. It's been a fabulous trip - don't get me wrong, but carrying my now 75 pound shoulder bag everywhere (anyone need a bottle of water, turkey jerkey, trail mix, bandaid, hand sanitizer, book, anything anything? I've got it right here... somewhere) didn't help my head/neck/shoulder/back issues. This morning (it's only 7AM now, so it must've been around 5 or so) I woke up with the pain that just wouldn't go away. I started massaging my temples and jaw, sutures on top of my head, digging my fingers into C3 and C4, putting my hands over my ears, especially my loudly ringing left ear, but nothing helped. Finally I stopped, and said, "I now open my head up and am relaxing and letting everything flow through me smoothly. I am in perfect health, and feel great," then promptly fell asleep. I haven't sleep for the past two nights, so this in itself was a minor miracle, but I think the bigger miracle is that I'm awake now (albeit still tired) but the pain in my head is greatly diminished. I keep reminding myself and the Universe that I am in perfect health, and tune in to see if I'm holding my jaw tight from stress or if I'm still relaxed (sometimes stressed but can relax it pretty easily).

I think of my friend Gail who's having bad dreams, and Melissa, who hasn't been able to sleep, and everyone else who's sensitive and experiencing all sorts of stuff right now - anxiety, depression, resentment, fear, anger, restlessness, and I send out a big burst of love and support and encouragement right now. Just keep breathing and walking through this current time - it's like that little part in the Everest ride where you get to the broken track and wonder where you're going to go next. You can't go forward, till you feel the car moving backward. Sure, it's scary, and sure, you're now moving BACKWARDS, but you get to your destination eventually, just not in the way that you thought you would. You got there by another route, but you kept going. The only way out is through - of whatever you're going through right now. We're all moving toward our reunion with ourselves and our memories and our consciousness, and I know it's going to be fabulous - THAT I've never doubted, even if I HAVE doubted the route I'm taking to get there. Does it have to be this bumpy? This up and down? This scary? But I chose it for a reason, even if I don't consciously know why. I just HAVE to trust in the bigger picture, so I DO, and I keep walking, making sure to keep noticing and acknowledging the sweet little miracles that continuously pop up all over the place, like my lessened headache. Okay, so that's a BIG miracle for me right now - man, that sucker can really hurt! Now see if you can refrain from singing Barry Manilow for the rest of the day. C'mon, I double dog dare you! {a true blue spectacle, a miracle come true... la la la}