why can't I just keep my mouth shut?

I went to sleep listening to Steve and Dad talking in the living room. It was a nice, soothing drone, spattered with Steve's 'heh heh heh' every now and then, and the ups and downs in volume as the talk got exciting. This morning when I awoke I went in to talk to Dad for a while. We're only here for a few more days so I want to make the most of it. I got up to make breakfast, then looked at the kitchen table and saw Bill and Dad talking sweetly. I don't know how long they'd been talking, maybe 10 minutes, maybe 5. I don't know. I sat down and listened for a minute, then joined in. Bill left the table and went back to his computer. My stomach started hurting. I checked with it. I didn't let Dad and Bill talk. I interrupted and was loud and my imposing usual self. I don't like that. I didn't like that. I got tears in my eyes. I want to change certain things about myself, and that's certainly one of them. I miss a lot of things because I can't shut my mouth. Why do I talk so much? I get excited, certainly, I probably want people to think I'm smart or clever or HERE. Maybe it's the youngest child thing, having to fight to be heard all the time, so that when I'm grown up I don't realize I don't need to talk all the time and loudly to be heard anymore.

I asked Dad if I had interrupted, and he said no; Bill said the same thing. They'd gotten a good talk in. Steve gently suggested that next time I just sit down and listen for a while. So this afternoon I noticed Dad and Bill starting to talk about computer programming. I sat down quietly and just listened. There - that helped. My stomach didn't start to hurt, and I didn't get tears in my eyes. Maybe this old dog CAN learn new tricks. I certainly hope so. I don't want to miss a thing! I think for tomorrow I'm going to concentrate on just listening, and asking questions of others when it's appropriate. See how that feels. I'll report back, for sure. It's probably a long lesson I'm needing to learn, but I DO appreciate my stomach aching, letting me know that something's off kilter. If I listen to my body, I'm sure it will continue to help me out. I wonder what else is going on? I know I got that headache this afternoon when I started feeling sad, but that's a story for another day...