The ionic foot cleanse? First Harley did the zone therapy. My right foot HURT a lot - he either has a very strong knuckle, or my masculine side is really overtaxed. My left hardly hurt at all. Zone therapy is like reflexology, but apparently a little more indepth. Apparently my pancreas is having some issues, along with my knees and right hip (all accurate, except for the pancreas - I'm not aware of its issues). I was a little nervous about the thought of placing a big battery in a tub of warm water (probably some past life flashbacks of an electrical chair or something), but I took a deep breath, and for the benefit of research, closed my eyes and dove right in. The water turned a shade yellow, then rust (liver and cellular debris), then some lovely foam (mucous from my lymph system), then green flakes (uhm, I forgot what those were for). It was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen at the end of 30 minutes - it looked my feet were in an awful swamp with slimy algae everywhere.
So the battery charge changes the oxygen ions to be able to travel the energy current, through the water in my body, forcing the toxins down to release through the soles of my feet. So, the question is: were there toxins, after me detoxing and living a clean life for the past year? Oh, yes, there were toxins, and a lot. The amazing thing to me was that when I stood up when he was done, the pain in my lower back was totally gone - vanished. It's been there for years. I can't help but think about the years of antibiotics, bad food, Tylenol, and other people's energies from 20 years of energy work that's accumulated in my sweet body. I'm glad I've found a way to help it get rid of it all.
Steve's wasn't much better - he added black flecks for drama (heavy metals). We're definitely going to do it again (and again and again). I keep hearing about the liver/gallbladder flush, but it still feels too violent for my body - on the toilet for 3 days, shocking the pancrease with a lot of olive oil, but it keeps coming up, so I'll keep looking at it, and maybe try it some day. I sometimes wonder if some things are fads, spiritual bandwagons that people jump on, hoping for the next big miracle. It's probably the same in all areas - we just expect that spiritual people aren't in it just for the money, but there ARE innumerable options out there, aren't there?
"Oneness", Chapter 18: Bringing relationships to completion and walking away with loving detachment. Breaking addictions to others. The significance of summary life experiences. Allowing others to live or to die in freedom.
If you don't walk away in neutrality, you keep the energetic charge between the two of you, and you're destined to repeat the situation until you reach completion in the form of acceptance of the recurring themes in your life. That's classic treatment for relationship counseling - if you don't figure out what happened in your first marriage, you're bound to repeat it in your next relationship (someone asks, "Why do I always marry alcoholics?" Probably she/he hasn't healed whatever's inside THEM that seeks that energy out). Interesting, she says, "So long as you carry the vibration of resentment for wrongdoings you feel have been perpetrated upon you, you have set the stage for a repeat performance."
I think of that in my own family, as we work toward family unity in the form of rules, expectations, and the need for respect for family harmony. It's a tad difficult with two teenage boys living in the house. We had a family "meeting" that didn't go so well, as one child exploded in anger at the injustice of it all. We were just stating rules, but he felt they were punishments. Both Steve and I stayed neutral and firm, but man, was it difficult. But if it's true that we need to make changes in the way we run our family and our lives and our marriage, nothing will change. So I sit here typing, thinking of Jordan coming in at 12:30, 1 1/2 hours after curfew, because he needed to clean his apartment. He had the whole day, in fact, a whole week, but chose to sleep instead. So he came in at 12:30 and woke me up (again). How do we navigate these tricky waters? Helping our boys become responsible, loving men, while preserving the sanctity of our house, our nuclear family, and our lives? I'm not sure, but as I felt the resentment and negative feelings building in me this morning, I replaced them with the best scenario: our family sitting in the front room, laughing and enjoying each other, the boys both moved out, on their own and happy, and Bill spending time with his mother AND father, together. Don't focus on what's wrong, SEE what you want to be right, and let the energy take you there.
That's my thought for today as I look out the window to see the sun shining. Bill and I might head down to Enderlin for a little Maggie and Tommy Time. I'll bring the leftover Morrocan Chicken Stew and a big salad.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Washing it all away ...
The rain came down so wet my clothes and body were totally soaked. I ran out to the patio to attach some buckets to the downspouts to catch some beautiful rainwater. They say it's better for your plants - no chlorine from tap water. I quickly found some plant pots with no plants in them yet, so they got filled. I feel full of potential for my sweet little plants. I noticed the sky clearing, then clouding, then clearing, in cycles of at least 6 today. Everyone seems more emotional than usual, with an edge - almost as if we've been keeping ourselves in these boxes of niceness and settling, only to have our true Selves come to the forefront, insisting that we be ourselves. Is that such a bad thing? It can feel like that - I'm feeling it, Melissa's feeling it, Monika's feeling it.
I cried this afternoon, off and on, like the rain. Aunt Dort called Mom and Dad at 12:30 last night to tell them Uncle Carl died. Carl was Dad's oldest brother. Dad didn't have his hearing aid in, so couldn't tell who was calling, or who had died. It was horrible, he said. How like life, I thought later - to be getting these messages about incredible change, and not even fully understand where they're coming from, or who's affected. I'll try to get to his funeral in Iowa.
There are 44 chapters in my book "Oneness," so I'm going to read a chapter a day for the next 3 odd weeks, and post my findings every day. Heck, it may save you the hassle of finding the book, then plodding through its dense theories. It's SO worth it, but I think you've really got to concentrate, because there's just so much. I just finished Chapter 17 (for about the 10th time - Chapter 17 is really powerful).
Oneness - Chapter 17 - Diet for a new reality. Maintaining wellness under conditions of accelerated vibration. The significance of energy work. The concept of cellular purification.
The reason I love Chapter 17 so much is that I've been working with these concepts for almost a year now, before I even read this book. Here's the first sentence (see if you can relate): "The higher levels of energy integration, of which you have had a small taste, will produce varying degrees of discomfort and symptoms in certain individuals that could be misinterpreted as illness." She goes on to talk about detox, which is TOTALLY what I'm all about these days. My curiosity is around the body's ability to detox itself naturally, once we've made the necessary health and lifestyle changes (food, drink, body products, air and water purifiers), or whether this cellular change is creating the need for deeper cellular detox, creating a tug on our physical systems that require more help. Rasha says, "In many cases, your physical forms are already bogging down under the burden of the accelerated detoxofication process being triggered by the amplified energies all around you. Under the new vibrational conditions, one can no longer sustain the levels of impurity that once were possible. The body's natural inclination to slough-off toxic debris is amplified to unprecedented levels, and as the energies continue to accelerate, will initiate the release of cellular waste at a rate that could result in a systemic breakdown, if one is not conscious of the process."
What does that mean? I've been talking about it for 3 years - if you used to be able to drink coffee, all of a sudden it doesn't agree with your body. Same with sugar (I really think the huge numbers of people coming down with insulin resistance is the sweet cells saying "No more poisons.") Medications don't work for people, nor do over-the-counters. Smoking and drinking may make you sick. Why? These higher frequencies coming into our bodies are requiring us to put higher frequencies into our bodies in the form of organic foods, more pure water, more natural products, nothing artificial. So, we need to become conscious of the process, which is what I'm working with. Connecting and talking to others is paramount to this process - what are YOU feeling, what discoveries have you made (although Rasha says we're each alone in this ascension process because we all have unique paths, but I think it still helps to know that we're not alone WALKING this unexplainable path).
One more helpful recommendation from Chapter 17: "You can anticipate the experience of the symptoms of illness when undergoing an intensive program of energetic healing (energy healing, in the form of Reiki, Healing Touch, Therapeutic Touch, etc. is highly recommended to help our bodies adjust to the higher frequencies, and I totally agree). Do not assume that the work is ineffective if your physical condition worsens directly following embarking upon a purification regimen. The very symptoms that would indicate illness to those conditioned inphysical focus are, in fact, an indication of cleansing, when viewed as energy. Toxic release is your evidence that purging is taking place and that your energy field is being relieved of a burden that was carried in a particular region of your cellular structure. Likewise, when exposed to high levels of vibration, the toxins harbored in the emotional bodies of your form are released."
So we get double whammies all around. Gwen called tonight (after reading yesterday's blog on the ionic foot cleanse), and told me Harley McClain is in town, so he's coming over in a bit to do zone therapy and a foot cleanse for Steve and me. I'll report back. I'm curious - Maggie went to a seminar in which the doctor said that the body positively DOES need help detoxing, and that the ionic foot cleanse is one of the best tools out there. We'll see ...
Maybe the foot cleanse will wash all my toxins away, just like these big, fat raindrops are washing away all the dirt on the sidewalk. I love water, I love the rain, and I'm frankly loving life right now - it's so full of potential and hope and expansion.
I cried this afternoon, off and on, like the rain. Aunt Dort called Mom and Dad at 12:30 last night to tell them Uncle Carl died. Carl was Dad's oldest brother. Dad didn't have his hearing aid in, so couldn't tell who was calling, or who had died. It was horrible, he said. How like life, I thought later - to be getting these messages about incredible change, and not even fully understand where they're coming from, or who's affected. I'll try to get to his funeral in Iowa.
There are 44 chapters in my book "Oneness," so I'm going to read a chapter a day for the next 3 odd weeks, and post my findings every day. Heck, it may save you the hassle of finding the book, then plodding through its dense theories. It's SO worth it, but I think you've really got to concentrate, because there's just so much. I just finished Chapter 17 (for about the 10th time - Chapter 17 is really powerful).
Oneness - Chapter 17 - Diet for a new reality. Maintaining wellness under conditions of accelerated vibration. The significance of energy work. The concept of cellular purification.
The reason I love Chapter 17 so much is that I've been working with these concepts for almost a year now, before I even read this book. Here's the first sentence (see if you can relate): "The higher levels of energy integration, of which you have had a small taste, will produce varying degrees of discomfort and symptoms in certain individuals that could be misinterpreted as illness." She goes on to talk about detox, which is TOTALLY what I'm all about these days. My curiosity is around the body's ability to detox itself naturally, once we've made the necessary health and lifestyle changes (food, drink, body products, air and water purifiers), or whether this cellular change is creating the need for deeper cellular detox, creating a tug on our physical systems that require more help. Rasha says, "In many cases, your physical forms are already bogging down under the burden of the accelerated detoxofication process being triggered by the amplified energies all around you. Under the new vibrational conditions, one can no longer sustain the levels of impurity that once were possible. The body's natural inclination to slough-off toxic debris is amplified to unprecedented levels, and as the energies continue to accelerate, will initiate the release of cellular waste at a rate that could result in a systemic breakdown, if one is not conscious of the process."
What does that mean? I've been talking about it for 3 years - if you used to be able to drink coffee, all of a sudden it doesn't agree with your body. Same with sugar (I really think the huge numbers of people coming down with insulin resistance is the sweet cells saying "No more poisons.") Medications don't work for people, nor do over-the-counters. Smoking and drinking may make you sick. Why? These higher frequencies coming into our bodies are requiring us to put higher frequencies into our bodies in the form of organic foods, more pure water, more natural products, nothing artificial. So, we need to become conscious of the process, which is what I'm working with. Connecting and talking to others is paramount to this process - what are YOU feeling, what discoveries have you made (although Rasha says we're each alone in this ascension process because we all have unique paths, but I think it still helps to know that we're not alone WALKING this unexplainable path).
One more helpful recommendation from Chapter 17: "You can anticipate the experience of the symptoms of illness when undergoing an intensive program of energetic healing (energy healing, in the form of Reiki, Healing Touch, Therapeutic Touch, etc. is highly recommended to help our bodies adjust to the higher frequencies, and I totally agree). Do not assume that the work is ineffective if your physical condition worsens directly following embarking upon a purification regimen. The very symptoms that would indicate illness to those conditioned inphysical focus are, in fact, an indication of cleansing, when viewed as energy. Toxic release is your evidence that purging is taking place and that your energy field is being relieved of a burden that was carried in a particular region of your cellular structure. Likewise, when exposed to high levels of vibration, the toxins harbored in the emotional bodies of your form are released."
So we get double whammies all around. Gwen called tonight (after reading yesterday's blog on the ionic foot cleanse), and told me Harley McClain is in town, so he's coming over in a bit to do zone therapy and a foot cleanse for Steve and me. I'll report back. I'm curious - Maggie went to a seminar in which the doctor said that the body positively DOES need help detoxing, and that the ionic foot cleanse is one of the best tools out there. We'll see ...
Maybe the foot cleanse will wash all my toxins away, just like these big, fat raindrops are washing away all the dirt on the sidewalk. I love water, I love the rain, and I'm frankly loving life right now - it's so full of potential and hope and expansion.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
I can see clearly now ...
... the rain has gone. I can see all obstacles in my way. It's the song, remember? This morning I woke up and felt, I don't know, deeper inside, somehow, like there was MORE of me than yesterday when I went to bed. My almost-20 year old came in the house at 3:47AM, almost 4 hours after curfew, and I heard the front door quietly opening. I stayed awake until 4:30. I haven't been able to sleep too deeply lately, except at Mom and Dad's on Sunday night. They live by the river, no cars, or dogs barking, or teenage boys barking. I want to go back to Bismarck. But something has definitely shifted. The last energy "transfusion" lifted around last Friday. My left ear didn't feel so full, or ring quite so loudly, my sternum wasn't quite so frozen, and my whole upper chest felt looser. My heart is beating pretty regularly these days, except for last night after I ate some organic cereal. It must be the sugar; my body doesn't like it, even if it IS organic.
I found a great website last night that talked about detox symptoms, and the whole process as taking years, not the measly months that we think it "should" take. The website link is http://www.dr-jo-md.com/detoxificationsymptoms.html, if you want to check it out. I don't know if they're trying to sell supplements ( I think that's the case, but it's still good information), but I'm checking out their recommendations of chlorella and ambrotose as things that can help us get through this detox process that's taking a long time. I'm also checking out the ionic foot cleanse, per Maggie Peterson's suggestion. If you BUY one, they cost around $2800, but maybe someone's got one I can TRY. If it's a good thing, then I'm willing to buy it, but there are so many "good" things out there, it's hard to know what to do. My suggestion? Trust your intuition - how does the information FEEL to you? Does it resonate? Feel like it makes sense? Some things I dismissed as improbable only a few months ago, only to say, "Wow, that sounds pretty intriguing" now. So who knows? We're breaking new ground all the time now.
One thing I know for sure: Dr. Gott's book, "No Flour No Sugar Diet" book is absolutely FABULOUS. Not only is it good, sound nutritional information (in my opiniono - I've read over 50 health books from all different viewpoints, so have a pretty good broad-based idea of what's what), but the recipes are unbelievable. Check out the Moroccan Chicken Stew with Butternut Squash and Quinoa. I can't find the link, but all of the recipes are delicious, easy, and good for you.
Another odd symptom that people are talking about? Veins that hurt and burn, then they all stick up. I noticed it happening to me about a month ago, but didn't tell anyone else. Then a client e-mailed me with that concern. Today in Group two others commented that they experience the same thing. My instincts tell me it's the energy surging through our bodies; it's very powerful, and our veins are like, "Who, Nelly, that's intense." Or something like that. I know that we need to feel empowered throughout this process, to feel secure in the fact that we're healthy, and that there's nothing wrong with us. The medical community must be LOVING all of us scared people running to them to solve our problems. They get paid lots of money for the tests, pills, and diagnoses, but they're going to be in BIG trouble when people keep coming back because nothing works. At some point, the medical community is going to have to concede that something bigger than they can handle is at work, and that we're all going to have to look to other forms of therapy to help us. Can't you just see it? A doctor sending us to a Reiki Master, or homeopath, or naturopath? Or suggesting a good meditation CD? I can't wait, because I just know the day is coming. People won't be content to not have their concerns answered in a solid way. Labeling someone as having a psychomatic illness just won't cut it. We'll ALL be given that diagnoses because there aren't any tests or pills that will affect us on these higher, energetic levels. We need higher, energetic help, in the form of energy work, meditations, natural supplements that support, not suppress, and ways to de-stress and detox our everyday lives.
That's why I'm reading all I can about the natural approach, working WITH our bodies to support their beautiful work. We certainly can't do it on our own. I'm fascinated with this work - I'm enrolling in the Clayton College for Nutritional Health, so I can learn more about it all. It just goes on and on - the only thing is that there are thousands of "experts" saying thousands of "truths", so it's up to every one of us to figure out what WE believe, irrespective of what others say. That's finding our crystal cave that I saw, and dwelling in our Centers. That's where our safety is, our grounding is - everything else is out on the edge, and scary. The crystal cave is our deepest knowing, our place of connection with Source, the All That Is. So that's where I'm going to dwell for the rest of the day, even though Bill's playing Zelda on Game Cube - hey, there's probably a crystal cave in Zelda. It's possible ...
I found a great website last night that talked about detox symptoms, and the whole process as taking years, not the measly months that we think it "should" take. The website link is http://www.dr-jo-md.com/detoxificationsymptoms.html, if you want to check it out. I don't know if they're trying to sell supplements ( I think that's the case, but it's still good information), but I'm checking out their recommendations of chlorella and ambrotose as things that can help us get through this detox process that's taking a long time. I'm also checking out the ionic foot cleanse, per Maggie Peterson's suggestion. If you BUY one, they cost around $2800, but maybe someone's got one I can TRY. If it's a good thing, then I'm willing to buy it, but there are so many "good" things out there, it's hard to know what to do. My suggestion? Trust your intuition - how does the information FEEL to you? Does it resonate? Feel like it makes sense? Some things I dismissed as improbable only a few months ago, only to say, "Wow, that sounds pretty intriguing" now. So who knows? We're breaking new ground all the time now.
One thing I know for sure: Dr. Gott's book, "No Flour No Sugar Diet" book is absolutely FABULOUS. Not only is it good, sound nutritional information (in my opiniono - I've read over 50 health books from all different viewpoints, so have a pretty good broad-based idea of what's what), but the recipes are unbelievable. Check out the Moroccan Chicken Stew with Butternut Squash and Quinoa. I can't find the link, but all of the recipes are delicious, easy, and good for you.
Another odd symptom that people are talking about? Veins that hurt and burn, then they all stick up. I noticed it happening to me about a month ago, but didn't tell anyone else. Then a client e-mailed me with that concern. Today in Group two others commented that they experience the same thing. My instincts tell me it's the energy surging through our bodies; it's very powerful, and our veins are like, "Who, Nelly, that's intense." Or something like that. I know that we need to feel empowered throughout this process, to feel secure in the fact that we're healthy, and that there's nothing wrong with us. The medical community must be LOVING all of us scared people running to them to solve our problems. They get paid lots of money for the tests, pills, and diagnoses, but they're going to be in BIG trouble when people keep coming back because nothing works. At some point, the medical community is going to have to concede that something bigger than they can handle is at work, and that we're all going to have to look to other forms of therapy to help us. Can't you just see it? A doctor sending us to a Reiki Master, or homeopath, or naturopath? Or suggesting a good meditation CD? I can't wait, because I just know the day is coming. People won't be content to not have their concerns answered in a solid way. Labeling someone as having a psychomatic illness just won't cut it. We'll ALL be given that diagnoses because there aren't any tests or pills that will affect us on these higher, energetic levels. We need higher, energetic help, in the form of energy work, meditations, natural supplements that support, not suppress, and ways to de-stress and detox our everyday lives.
That's why I'm reading all I can about the natural approach, working WITH our bodies to support their beautiful work. We certainly can't do it on our own. I'm fascinated with this work - I'm enrolling in the Clayton College for Nutritional Health, so I can learn more about it all. It just goes on and on - the only thing is that there are thousands of "experts" saying thousands of "truths", so it's up to every one of us to figure out what WE believe, irrespective of what others say. That's finding our crystal cave that I saw, and dwelling in our Centers. That's where our safety is, our grounding is - everything else is out on the edge, and scary. The crystal cave is our deepest knowing, our place of connection with Source, the All That Is. So that's where I'm going to dwell for the rest of the day, even though Bill's playing Zelda on Game Cube - hey, there's probably a crystal cave in Zelda. It's possible ...
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Rainy Days and Saturdays ...
I cooked for 5 hours this morning, up at 6AM. I want to bring a basket full of goodies to Mom and Dad, so I cooked rhubarb bread and rhubard crunch, potato salad, vegetable soup, and spaghetti sauce. I kind of hate to admit it, but I really love doing the housewife thing of cooking and even laundry. I stop at cleaning bathrooms - I don't like being a housewife in THAT way. It's been raining for so long the ground squishes when I walk on it. My left ear is really buzzing, and that means the air pressure's changing again. I got to read more "Oneness" this afternoon, and she's talking about not keying into your "symptoms" as meaning there's something wrong with you, but that something's right - that you're cleansing your cells and they're releasing all of the lower vibrations. It feels very good that she's affirming all I've been saying for the last few years. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about what I'm experiencing and finding out, because most of what I talked about 5 years ago people are talking about now. Well, at least in the Fargo area. I'm not sure about the rest of the world - they've probably been talking about it for the last 1000 years. I'm not complaining - I love Fargo, I really do - there's so many beautiful things about this city, but sometimes I feel so alone out here. I journal and e-mail friends, but I feel these things, and the knowingness formulates in my brain, and then what do I do with it all? Help my clients and students, and that's about it. It's hard to implement past the basic work of restructuring my own life, but maybe that's all I'm supposed to be doing right now.
I've been watching my ego, and wow, is THAT a lightshow. Only one niece and nephew came to Erik and Jordan's graduation last year, yet this year when I went to my nephew's graduation party, two other sisters and their whole families were there; they'd driven in from out of town. When I saw my second sister's family walk in, my heart started constricting and I wanted to just go home. "Why didn't anyone come to MY children's parties? Don't they love us? Why don't I ever get included?" But I've gone to ALL of their children's parties, but then I decided to change the feeling, and was glad I had the chance to get to see them all and talk to them a little. So maybe those old family feelings of not being loved and accepted and supported are healing a little, or maybe it's just me seeing it all from a higher perspective. I get my feelings hurt pretty easily, and maybe others don't see that. Or maybe I've snubbed all of them before and just haven't realized I've done it, but of course I see it when THEY don't come to MY events. I don't know I don't know I just don't know. So I think about what that means to just breathe in all of my feelings without judgment, to just feel them so they can be released so they won't keep being issues, like erasing those elevator buttons so nobody can push them anymore. As long as they're there, people will have the opportunity to push them. But I don't need to go to those floors anymore - I don't need to go to those places - there's nothing there for me. So I can just have my button on my penthouse suite, and if anyone gets onto my "elevator" they may still look for those familiar buttons to push, but they won't be there anymore. Will I ever be able to erase those feelings of not being seen and loved by my family of origin? Maybe, maybe not, but I know I'll have continued ample opportunity for the healing. In the meantime, I surround myself with my fabulous, loving, supportive friends - Melissa, Maggie, Chanda, Monika, Donna, Chitra, Julia and Marie, to name just a few. They see me, they accept me, and they all love me just because I'm me, and that's enough for a rainy day and Saturday.
Bill and I head to Bismarck tomorrow to wish Dad a happy 84th birthday. I gave him a WestPoint sweatshirt to bring memories of his alma mater. I'm bringing a chunk of rhubard bread and rhubard crunch, too, just because I want to, and because they don't get to eat too many homecooked things anymore. I'm making Moroccan Chicken Stew with Butternut Squash and Quinoa for his birthday dinner - I hope they like it. It's from Dr. Gott's "No Flour No Sugar Diet" book. They've got fabulous recipes - you don't even miss the flour or sugar. Here's to good health - physical, mental and spiritual. And here's to hoping the frost doesn't actually make it here to nip our sweet little green plants on their noses.
I've been watching my ego, and wow, is THAT a lightshow. Only one niece and nephew came to Erik and Jordan's graduation last year, yet this year when I went to my nephew's graduation party, two other sisters and their whole families were there; they'd driven in from out of town. When I saw my second sister's family walk in, my heart started constricting and I wanted to just go home. "Why didn't anyone come to MY children's parties? Don't they love us? Why don't I ever get included?" But I've gone to ALL of their children's parties, but then I decided to change the feeling, and was glad I had the chance to get to see them all and talk to them a little. So maybe those old family feelings of not being loved and accepted and supported are healing a little, or maybe it's just me seeing it all from a higher perspective. I get my feelings hurt pretty easily, and maybe others don't see that. Or maybe I've snubbed all of them before and just haven't realized I've done it, but of course I see it when THEY don't come to MY events. I don't know I don't know I just don't know. So I think about what that means to just breathe in all of my feelings without judgment, to just feel them so they can be released so they won't keep being issues, like erasing those elevator buttons so nobody can push them anymore. As long as they're there, people will have the opportunity to push them. But I don't need to go to those floors anymore - I don't need to go to those places - there's nothing there for me. So I can just have my button on my penthouse suite, and if anyone gets onto my "elevator" they may still look for those familiar buttons to push, but they won't be there anymore. Will I ever be able to erase those feelings of not being seen and loved by my family of origin? Maybe, maybe not, but I know I'll have continued ample opportunity for the healing. In the meantime, I surround myself with my fabulous, loving, supportive friends - Melissa, Maggie, Chanda, Monika, Donna, Chitra, Julia and Marie, to name just a few. They see me, they accept me, and they all love me just because I'm me, and that's enough for a rainy day and Saturday.
Bill and I head to Bismarck tomorrow to wish Dad a happy 84th birthday. I gave him a WestPoint sweatshirt to bring memories of his alma mater. I'm bringing a chunk of rhubard bread and rhubard crunch, too, just because I want to, and because they don't get to eat too many homecooked things anymore. I'm making Moroccan Chicken Stew with Butternut Squash and Quinoa for his birthday dinner - I hope they like it. It's from Dr. Gott's "No Flour No Sugar Diet" book. They've got fabulous recipes - you don't even miss the flour or sugar. Here's to good health - physical, mental and spiritual. And here's to hoping the frost doesn't actually make it here to nip our sweet little green plants on their noses.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Love and health...
Steve's "Men's Health Journal" came yesterday, and I like to browse through it to get some idea of how men may actually think. There was some news on the benefits of jicama (vitamin C and fiber), and dandelion root (a liver detox and diuretic), but what caught my eye was a picture of a man in a wheelchair, his arms upraised, a smile on his face. He was pushed by an older man in a baseball cap. I read the brief article - it was written by the man in the wheelchair. He has cystic fibrosis, and the man pushing the wheelchair is his dad. They started doing small races together, and although in the beginning they were denied because of their slow times, eventually they were let in to more and more. To date, they've participated in 950 races, including marathons and the triathalons. I sit here crying even as I'm typing about it because it's such a testament to unconditional, unbridled love between two humans. It's not a sacrifice, no, it's a blessing and a joy for both father and son, and everyone who's privileged to run races with them. It makes me think: what do I do to show my love for those I love? How far would I go? What does this mean that even the thought of the article can make me cry? I know it means something, and I'll be thinking about that today.
I'm reading "Oneness", a channeled book by Rasha. Okay, I've been reading it for almost a year now - it's just so DENSE, so much information that you can't just pick it up casually. You have to dig in for a page or two, then think about it. I picked it up and just opened it to a page, and read about the health crises in our bodies that this current transformation is creating. She says that all illnesses and diseases are lower density emotions carried in our bodies, and if we haven't dealt with the root causes of our "issues" they'll be coming around again to manifest in our physical bodies so we can finally address and heal it all, so we can be free to keep traveling up to the higher vibrations. But it takes a great deal of faith not to sink down into that fear space. I know I felt STABBING pains in my head yesterday, followed by loud ringing in my left ear. I know better, I really do, but memories of last summer and the brain tumor fears came floating into my consciousness until I realized I was going there again and could start laughing. But it isn't always easy to laugh, is it? Not when you're feeling these things you've never felt before and you're supposed to be in the peak of health. "You're the healthiest sick person I know," Steve has said to me, and I know it's supposed to make me feel better, but sometimes it makes me sad. How does it help our bodies to keep thinking we're sick? Is it possible to trust that all is well, and these are just the changes taking place as we become purely healthy and clean and clear? Today I intend total trust in my body and in my journey. Just for today. Tomorrow I may choose to intend it again, but let's just try it for one day, all right?
I'm reading "Oneness", a channeled book by Rasha. Okay, I've been reading it for almost a year now - it's just so DENSE, so much information that you can't just pick it up casually. You have to dig in for a page or two, then think about it. I picked it up and just opened it to a page, and read about the health crises in our bodies that this current transformation is creating. She says that all illnesses and diseases are lower density emotions carried in our bodies, and if we haven't dealt with the root causes of our "issues" they'll be coming around again to manifest in our physical bodies so we can finally address and heal it all, so we can be free to keep traveling up to the higher vibrations. But it takes a great deal of faith not to sink down into that fear space. I know I felt STABBING pains in my head yesterday, followed by loud ringing in my left ear. I know better, I really do, but memories of last summer and the brain tumor fears came floating into my consciousness until I realized I was going there again and could start laughing. But it isn't always easy to laugh, is it? Not when you're feeling these things you've never felt before and you're supposed to be in the peak of health. "You're the healthiest sick person I know," Steve has said to me, and I know it's supposed to make me feel better, but sometimes it makes me sad. How does it help our bodies to keep thinking we're sick? Is it possible to trust that all is well, and these are just the changes taking place as we become purely healthy and clean and clear? Today I intend total trust in my body and in my journey. Just for today. Tomorrow I may choose to intend it again, but let's just try it for one day, all right?
Thursday, May 24, 2007
What is Normal?
I've been thinking about the concept of normal lately. I think it's a different range depending on where you live. I went to California 8 years ago and I was positively conservative. Here in North Dakota I'm a bit outside the range of conservative, drifting precariously into eccentric and incomprehensible. But I don't think anyone's "normal" - I think we all look at others in relation to how we perceive ourselves. I'm over 6 feet tall, so I think most people are short. To most of them, I'm tall - all a matter of perspective.
I think about the changes that have been occurring in my body for the past year. I've gone from fearing brain tumors, ovarian cancer, MS, chronic fatigue, colon cancer - if I feel a pain somewhere, it's got to be bad. It WAS rough, but I'm still alive, so that means something, doesn't it? Tammy was doing cranial sacral on me yesterday, and I told her I was curious about my blood sugar, as last October it was 103, up from the 99 in July. She started laughing, then apologized. "I'm sorry to laugh," she said, "but I just saw your body roll its eyes at what you just said." I didn't think it was that funny, as I heard my body talking at the same time I was talking to Tammy, and my body said, "I'm so g*d*med sick of her thinking there's something wrong with me all the time." Now you may ask me, "How could Tammy "see" my body rolling its eyes, and how could I "hear" my body talking to Tammy?" and I'll tell you the body is a separate entity from who "we" are. So is our mind - our Spirit is really who "we" are, what animates us - our Spirit inhabits our body, and we've "hired" our body to take good care of us this time around. So when I do my healing work on people, I hear their bodies talking all the time - "tell her to stop drinking Diet Coke... I love to walk ... I need to be outdoors more ... I need more rest ... I don't like coffee." Usually we don't listen to our bodies, or push them to do what we want them do, fill them up with junk and poison, then wait until something crashes to go to the doctor and get a pill to shut the body up, or get an operation to cut the offending part out of us.
But that's not normal, I don't think. I listened to James Chappell's CD on curing diabetes, and he said the medical community can't cure anything - all it can do is treat, and I never looked at it like that before, but I believe that's true. That's why I'm interested in all things alternative and natural - how can I SUPPORT my body to best do its work, and not get in its way or hurt it? I don't want to end up like my beautiful, wonderful mother - almost at the end of her life at 85, diabetic, with heart problems, artificial hips, and taking 158 pills a week. I want to be 85 and sweating because I've worked in the garden for 3 hours. I want to be 85 and trying a new eggplant parmigiana recipe. I want to be 85 and sitting on a beach in Florida watching the sun set with the seagulls.
So maybe I'm not normal; maybe you're not, either. Maybe the greatest gift we can give each other is the gift of individuality. To encourage independence and free, intelligent thought. Maybe it's okay, even desirable, that you believe something differently than I do. I want to hear what you think, I want to hear what you believe. I want to see a different perspective than my own, so I can become more of a 360 degree person. Then maybe the ALL will BE the norm. I believe that, I truly do.
I think about the changes that have been occurring in my body for the past year. I've gone from fearing brain tumors, ovarian cancer, MS, chronic fatigue, colon cancer - if I feel a pain somewhere, it's got to be bad. It WAS rough, but I'm still alive, so that means something, doesn't it? Tammy was doing cranial sacral on me yesterday, and I told her I was curious about my blood sugar, as last October it was 103, up from the 99 in July. She started laughing, then apologized. "I'm sorry to laugh," she said, "but I just saw your body roll its eyes at what you just said." I didn't think it was that funny, as I heard my body talking at the same time I was talking to Tammy, and my body said, "I'm so g*d*med sick of her thinking there's something wrong with me all the time." Now you may ask me, "How could Tammy "see" my body rolling its eyes, and how could I "hear" my body talking to Tammy?" and I'll tell you the body is a separate entity from who "we" are. So is our mind - our Spirit is really who "we" are, what animates us - our Spirit inhabits our body, and we've "hired" our body to take good care of us this time around. So when I do my healing work on people, I hear their bodies talking all the time - "tell her to stop drinking Diet Coke... I love to walk ... I need to be outdoors more ... I need more rest ... I don't like coffee." Usually we don't listen to our bodies, or push them to do what we want them do, fill them up with junk and poison, then wait until something crashes to go to the doctor and get a pill to shut the body up, or get an operation to cut the offending part out of us.
But that's not normal, I don't think. I listened to James Chappell's CD on curing diabetes, and he said the medical community can't cure anything - all it can do is treat, and I never looked at it like that before, but I believe that's true. That's why I'm interested in all things alternative and natural - how can I SUPPORT my body to best do its work, and not get in its way or hurt it? I don't want to end up like my beautiful, wonderful mother - almost at the end of her life at 85, diabetic, with heart problems, artificial hips, and taking 158 pills a week. I want to be 85 and sweating because I've worked in the garden for 3 hours. I want to be 85 and trying a new eggplant parmigiana recipe. I want to be 85 and sitting on a beach in Florida watching the sun set with the seagulls.
So maybe I'm not normal; maybe you're not, either. Maybe the greatest gift we can give each other is the gift of individuality. To encourage independence and free, intelligent thought. Maybe it's okay, even desirable, that you believe something differently than I do. I want to hear what you think, I want to hear what you believe. I want to see a different perspective than my own, so I can become more of a 360 degree person. Then maybe the ALL will BE the norm. I believe that, I truly do.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Full Head and Rumblings
Woke up this morning almost toppling over. Wow, was I dizzy. It almost feels like the earth has shifted under me and I can't get my sea legs. In the channeling group yesterday I was given the information that we are moving from a linear movement to a wavelike movement, like the ocean, and the reason we're all feeling queasy in our stomachs lately is because we're seasick, and are getting our sea legs. That makes a lot of sense to me, but along with the ear fullness and popping, I feel like I'm on an airplane as well, which would also make sense as we're going to higher and higher levels, just like on an airplane.
I've been thinking a lot about liver issues that are up for everyone, it seems, and I wonder if it's true that we're in a state of perpetual detox for the planet and others who haven't started on this awakening journey yet. I don't think we can detox FOR anyone, as they have to do it for themselves. It's their bodies, and whatever they do to their bodies that's unhealthy for them, they'll have to clear up. But it DOES make sense that those of us who are doing this journey consciously may be helping the earth detox from all the poisons she's gotten over the last millenia or so. So, I continue to drink a gallon of purified water a day, with some lemon in it, eat a lot of vegetables and a good dose of organic protein, and limit my complex carbs - NO sugar or white anything (except cauliflower). I stretch every morning and walk at least 10,000 steps each day (okay, not EVERY single day, but almost). De-stress (right, like stress could ever totally go away when you've got 2 teenage boys and a 7 year old and 21 year old daughter), and take good time every day to be happy and centered. Any thoughts on liver issues? Let me know - I'm really curious. Kidney issues are up, as well, but it's moved into the liver, it seems.
The Divine Goddesses gathered last night, 27 strong. It was a small group, but very powerful. The Goddesses are friends from all areas of my life, and women that I think should know each other. Kim drove in from the lake, not knowing anyone, Karman and Tara came - my sweet and talented artist friends. Deb - my fabulous blues singer and caterer; Barb and Cindy - my new fitness center owner friends; Donna - one of the original Goddesses from 2000; Christeen - my original spiritual mentor, fresh up from Arizona. And the list goes on. Gather gather - connect, support, and laugh. Make new friends, we're not alone, and gathering is a good way to remember that. Karman's making us all goddess necklaces, and Donna's coordinating the Goddesses to run in the Fargo Marathon next year (yeah, like I'll run with a glass of sparkling water and a tiara on my head in the 5K, maybe - 26 miles? Goddesses don't do that - they have others run FOR them, I think).
Today is clients and lining up my big event in Minneapolis - I'm placing big ads in the Edge Life, which will cost money, but you've got to spend money to make money, do you think? I need to find a conference room in Edina somewhere - someplace centrally located. I need an assistant, so I intend to manifest one very soon. Until tomorrow, I contemplate what pushes my buttons, as well as what I think I'm doing or thinking that's holding me back in my life. The clouds are out, it's muggy, but my heart is happy and peaceful.
I've been thinking a lot about liver issues that are up for everyone, it seems, and I wonder if it's true that we're in a state of perpetual detox for the planet and others who haven't started on this awakening journey yet. I don't think we can detox FOR anyone, as they have to do it for themselves. It's their bodies, and whatever they do to their bodies that's unhealthy for them, they'll have to clear up. But it DOES make sense that those of us who are doing this journey consciously may be helping the earth detox from all the poisons she's gotten over the last millenia or so. So, I continue to drink a gallon of purified water a day, with some lemon in it, eat a lot of vegetables and a good dose of organic protein, and limit my complex carbs - NO sugar or white anything (except cauliflower). I stretch every morning and walk at least 10,000 steps each day (okay, not EVERY single day, but almost). De-stress (right, like stress could ever totally go away when you've got 2 teenage boys and a 7 year old and 21 year old daughter), and take good time every day to be happy and centered. Any thoughts on liver issues? Let me know - I'm really curious. Kidney issues are up, as well, but it's moved into the liver, it seems.
The Divine Goddesses gathered last night, 27 strong. It was a small group, but very powerful. The Goddesses are friends from all areas of my life, and women that I think should know each other. Kim drove in from the lake, not knowing anyone, Karman and Tara came - my sweet and talented artist friends. Deb - my fabulous blues singer and caterer; Barb and Cindy - my new fitness center owner friends; Donna - one of the original Goddesses from 2000; Christeen - my original spiritual mentor, fresh up from Arizona. And the list goes on. Gather gather - connect, support, and laugh. Make new friends, we're not alone, and gathering is a good way to remember that. Karman's making us all goddess necklaces, and Donna's coordinating the Goddesses to run in the Fargo Marathon next year (yeah, like I'll run with a glass of sparkling water and a tiara on my head in the 5K, maybe - 26 miles? Goddesses don't do that - they have others run FOR them, I think).
Today is clients and lining up my big event in Minneapolis - I'm placing big ads in the Edge Life, which will cost money, but you've got to spend money to make money, do you think? I need to find a conference room in Edina somewhere - someplace centrally located. I need an assistant, so I intend to manifest one very soon. Until tomorrow, I contemplate what pushes my buttons, as well as what I think I'm doing or thinking that's holding me back in my life. The clouds are out, it's muggy, but my heart is happy and peaceful.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
The Adventure Begins and Continues
With so much going on, I decided to start a blog to document the energy changes. Can you feel it? We sure do - today we're coming out of the queasy stomach, full and ringing ears, and TIRED. We joke that we have the tired disease. It's not diet, or lack of sleep. What is it? The energy integrating into our bodies after this last shift last week.
My work continues to create itself, and I remain open to wherever it takes me. I enter into these moments of total unity and bliss, and I just smile. That's all you can do. Then I understand what we're really doing, and it amazes me, takes my breath away. To be changing our cellular make up? What it looks like right now is that our cells are finishing their big changes, and are settling down to the changes. We're being asked to make some big changes in our diets and lifestyles, and for some it's a difficult task. "Give up sugar and caffeine? No way." Well, go ahead - keep eating and drinking, and see how your body reacts. I'm seeing a lot of people developing insulin resistance because their cells want to be healthy. I'm also seeing a lot of people not able to handle any prescription medicine anymore (even over-the-counter). What's left? Looking at what we put on and in our bodies, looking at our lifestyles, and seeing if our actions are in alignment with our Highest Good. It takes a lot of mindfulness, a lot of work, but it seems to be the necessary next step.
I wanted to take the summer off a little bit, kick back a little, but it doesn't look like that will happen. I'm gearing up for a big event of channeling this summer here in Fargo, as well as a big event in Minneapolis for September. Along with my Next Step Channeling groups and individual clients, onward and upward we travel. But still I'll save time for sitting by the pool, drinking some bottled water and feeling the sun on my face. Ah, the road to enlightenment CAN be fun.
My work continues to create itself, and I remain open to wherever it takes me. I enter into these moments of total unity and bliss, and I just smile. That's all you can do. Then I understand what we're really doing, and it amazes me, takes my breath away. To be changing our cellular make up? What it looks like right now is that our cells are finishing their big changes, and are settling down to the changes. We're being asked to make some big changes in our diets and lifestyles, and for some it's a difficult task. "Give up sugar and caffeine? No way." Well, go ahead - keep eating and drinking, and see how your body reacts. I'm seeing a lot of people developing insulin resistance because their cells want to be healthy. I'm also seeing a lot of people not able to handle any prescription medicine anymore (even over-the-counter). What's left? Looking at what we put on and in our bodies, looking at our lifestyles, and seeing if our actions are in alignment with our Highest Good. It takes a lot of mindfulness, a lot of work, but it seems to be the necessary next step.
I wanted to take the summer off a little bit, kick back a little, but it doesn't look like that will happen. I'm gearing up for a big event of channeling this summer here in Fargo, as well as a big event in Minneapolis for September. Along with my Next Step Channeling groups and individual clients, onward and upward we travel. But still I'll save time for sitting by the pool, drinking some bottled water and feeling the sun on my face. Ah, the road to enlightenment CAN be fun.
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