abundance or greed?

I sit here among my beautiful things, amazed at the abundance in my life. Not only do I have material things that I love, but I have an amazing family that I love. I have the love of my parents, some pretty unbelievably fabulous best friends (Missy, Mags, Vicks, Julia, Chitra, Donna, Marie - you know who you are), some great neighbors, a warm, spacious house, work that never ceases to amaze me, and just, well, everything. Everything that I think of just fills me to my gills (wherever those may be located), but the question I ponder this morning is this: if we are supposed to "think and grow rich," what does that mean, exactly? I think the definition of rich is lots of money, but according to my fab dictionary, rich also means "having high value or quality, meaningful, significant, lush." So those are also desirable, right? I don't want any more financial abundance - everything is perfect right now. I want a lake home, but I'll get it if I really want it. Is it right to just want want want material things? Where's the love, where's the dedication to the rest of the human race, where's the simplicity? I "want" Steve to be happpy, I "want" my kids and friends and other family to all be happy, I "want" hurting people to find comfort, I "want" a book contract, and to be able to travel nationwide on a book tour, but when I look at my motives, they're mostly ego-free (except probably for that national book tour which would be a kick in the pants AND help a lot of people). I don't want to win the lottery, I don't want a diamond necklace, I don't want an expensive car, or a bigger house. Maybe it's because I'm fortunate enough to BE financially abundant already. If I wasn't, it might be different, and I acknowledge that possibility.

So when I think of how I'm feeling on my insides, it's already a vast vast landscape, so it doesn't resonate with me to try to "bring" stuff into my life in the way other people seem to be talking about. Maybe I don't understand their concepts, or haven't really heard them. I really don't know what all mindsets are out there - there are probably thousands of books that talk about finding abundance, and I'm thinking these people find abundance through their book sales? Maybe people need to start on the physical to feel that if they can get what they want down here they will feel comfort and support, then move toward feeling that feeling of abundance on the spiritual plane? As above, so below? Holographic? I don't know, but there's a whole lot of excitement out there about "getting it all," and I want to understand what that means to others, I really do, but I just don't seem to be getting it - I DO place intentions, I DO watch my thoughts to stay in the light, I DO work at being conscious every moment of the day, I DO meditate and pray, I DO do my good work that helps others AND myself. It's just different languages, maybe, but still part of the Whole.

Maybe it's okay not to get what other people are doing - maybe it's enough just to keep doing what I'm doing - it works for me. Only I can decide what's abundance or greedy... for me... not for anyone else. And I figured something out - I AM greedy - it's just about different things. I intended for Bill to win the trout tournament, and he did. I intended great things for Steve, and he got them. I'm intending a golden life for me and it's unfolding. Maybe others would say that I'M the greedy one, because all they want it for their husband to be healed of his cancer.

So who determines what's abundance and what's greed? I can't be judgmental, so I've changed my mind. It's all the same, just different - so go ahead and go for it, guys - intend a yacht, a handsome husband that calls you his Queen, a fulfilling job. I think everyone deserves whatever is in their Highest good, and that's a LOT, from where I'm sitting - more than we can ever imagine. And I'm sorry that I don't quite understand it all - it's all good. If I believe that all paths lead Home, then we're all ultimately saying the same thing, just differently. So I continue to think about abundance and greed, and what exactly it all means. I sit in the center of my life and continue to be amazed, and for me, that's my definition of abundance. What's your definition?