cold

I just love this week, the last few days before the next big energy shove into the higher vibrations. It hit me yesterday at exactly 11AM. I had just finished my final project for my nutrition course, and I was instantly bored, restless, fidgety. Nothing helped, so I paced, visited Erik at Best Buy, got some pictures of Grandma E. enlarged, wrote in my journal. I feel like a car in "park" but with my foot on the gas, revving, with nowhere to go. I arranged my work so I could free up big chunks to write, see friends, read, but something was different yesterday, that big chunk of time was not necessarily a helpful thing, and I recognize that feeling. It's the beginning of the race, at the starting line, jumping up and down, the horse right before the race, knowing something big is coming, and wanting it just to get started, already, the moments before the national basketball finals, when you'd rather be anywhere but just here, at the beginning, waiting for it to start. That's how I feel.

Along with that comes these incredible "cold" symptoms that a lot of people have and no one can shake. The sniffy nose/sneezing/tightness in your chest/runny eyes/clearing your throat kind of stuff. I never get sick. Let me say that again - I just never get sick, yet here I sit, sniffing. I've been sniffing for the past month. Bill, who also never gets sick, has been sniffing and sneezing for over 3 months. Steve teases me because whenever something happens in my body, because the first thing I say is, "It's the energy." But I think it's true. For everything we've been feeling these past 5 years, but more the past year and a half, has there ever been anything majorly wrong with us? Nope. Sure, maybe some small stuff here and there, but not enough to warrant our huge array of "symptoms," so I remember that when I feel a funny pulling on my chest, like something's being pulled OUT of it, or when I get that crawling feeling on my scalp, or my temple's get tight. I can be heard muttering "energy energy" under my breath as I walk around the house, my New Age mantra.

We need networking, we need to talk to others about what we're feeling, what we're scared of, of what's going on. There's no map for this territory we're in, nobody's gone before, no textbooks or workshops or experts this time around. It's up to us. Walking home from the clinic this morning, where I had blood drawn for my annual physical, I had this thought that we need to be BOLD when it comes to our health and our bodies. We also need to be BRAVE, because we're up against some mighty big forces that work against us sometimes. "Take a pill, take a shot, have an operation, insurance will pay for it." I calculated how much I'm costing the insurance company these days, and it's not a heck of a lot, considering we pay in almost $500 a month ($6000 a year for all 6 of us). It pays for my visits to the chiropractor, and for these tests I take each year to stay healthy, so that's around $700 a year, I think. No pills, no ER, no walk-in, no operations. Maybe I should talk to them about paying for my new walking shoes, or my visits to the naturopath, or for my organic food I buy that's keeping me so healthy, and saving them thousands of dollars?

Bill came home with pinkeye, and I almost went to the walk-in clinic. On a fluke, I typed in "natural cure for pinkeye" and googled it. Colloidal silver has been used forever, and it just takes a few drops to have it clear up in a few hours, so I'm off to Swanson's after my visit to Trish, my naturopath, to pick some up. Another dollar saved the insurance company. You're welcome, Blue Cross. I think it's changing, albeit slowly, but I have hope, I have faith - in myself, in others, in the System, in the process. And besides, the leaves are still bright gold along 13th Avenue and 30 Street, so life really IS good.