it's been one week...

well, actually one and a HALF weeks since I've had a good night's sleep. Let me clarify: for me, a good night's sleep is at least 10 hours, so in actuality, this averaging 8 hours doesn't sound too bad, but for me, it's sleep deprivation. I even have dark circles under my eyes, and I don't DO dark circles. Symbolism abounds right now. Last night was my first possible night of good sleep. Bill woke up barking at 2AM - croup. One long hot shower, and a few deep breaths out in the cold night air, sleeping until 7:30 when the barking started again. I only know I'm tired when I get crabby. Steve walked toward me, and I quickly said, "You'd better give me a WIDE berth right now." He smartly did. He later came back quietly with his arms out, and I was able to walk into them and hold him tightly. He left for Minot. I was too tired to walk this morning, so decided to run some of Steve's errands instead. I only had 40 minutes, so I drove, um, too fast, and got a speeding ticket. As I sat there waiting for the policeman to walk up to my car, I thought, "I wonder what the symbolism is here?" Um, slow down??? Could be... On one of my errands I ran into the woman I had to call today - that saved me a phone call. Synchronicity.

I had so much fun on Saturday night at the Celebration of Women and Their Arts. Deb gave Maggie and me backstage passes (so we could party like rock stars), and we got to talk with everyone before the show and at "half time" (intermission to theatre people). I saw Laurie and Barbara and Lora and Max and Linda and Gwen. But perhaps the oddest thing of all was Kristin Kitco. Her voice and songwriting skills are amazing (check out her "I'm Not Wal-Mart" song). After the show I was talking with her, and she said, "Are you the one with "Pink Stars and Angel Wings" and all that?" I answered yes. She said, "I was the voice of Kari on the taped version of the book." WHAT? That was in 1992. She's from Chicago. What ARE the odds? Too great to calculate, I'm thinking. Yet there she was, and there I was, 16 years later, in Fargo, North Dakota. So there you go - synchronicities.

Mom's getting out of the hospital today. She's lost a total of 11 pounds of fluid (yay), and her hemoglobin is back up into the 10's. I think she will be with us for a little while longer, and for that I'm always eternally grateful. In fact, even though I feel exhausted today, I'm totally happy. There are no worries - I feel like I'm on a raft, drifting down a river. The current is swift, but not so swift that I'm scared I'll overturn. Just swift enough to get me where I want to go. "Row row row your raft, gently down the stream. Merrily merrily merrily merrily - life is but a dream." But what a dream we're waking up from. It's far more beautiful than the dream that was my life before. Because it's REAL. And why haven't I been sleeping? I don't know, but I sure hope I can sleep tonight... stay tuned.