Mom's necklaces

There are several stereotypes floating around out there about older people. I never really noticed until Dad pointed it out to me. "It makes me d**n angry the way they're always making older people out to be stupid, doddering idiots, shuffling around yelling, "What?" So I started noticing things. They say older people smell funny, they say older people like hard candies, they say their houses smell icky, they can't walk, or see, or hear, or, apparently, think. Yuck - he's right - it sucks. I look at my parents and I see them wearing clean clothes. They eat incredibly well - lots of fresh fruit and homecooked meals. They take regular showers. And they remember things better than I do. They haven't lost ANYTHING.

I helped Mom go through her jewelry one visit, and we were trying to pare down her immense necklace collection. She told me the stories one by one of her necklaces. Some I remembered, some I didn't. I DO remember her Tut necklace, with the gold flared wings - you know the symbol, don't you? She wore that one all the time. Went through this whole period when she really liked anything to do with Egypt. She still have the 3 foot tall gold statue of a young Egyptian female god (I can't remember which one). One of my first thoughts is, "Jewelry has to be the last thing on her mind," as she struggles with breathing and eating and swallowing and keeping her heart beating. But no, she surprises me again. Every time I come home she's wearing a different necklace - last time it was the cross that Dad gave her for Christmas ("now I can wear it all the time and not worrying about the sides poking into me"). She even changes her rings out (except for her wedding ring, which they had to cut off her swollen finger). I've got to be honest - I'm amazed by my mother. I get myopic in my life right now, and I'm in the peak of health. How she still manages to floss and brush her teeth every night AND find new jewelry to wear AND new combinations of clothes to wear ("this cardigan looks so CUTE with this shirt - it's perfect, don't you think?" Yes Mom, I DO think it's cute). Seriously, she is my inspiration for how I want to live my life, not only when I'm older, but NOW. Dad, too. He's the epitomy of unconditional love in action - when Mom needs something, he doesn't sigh and make exaggerated motions of getting up (like I do). He just goes to her.

So I'm thinking about Mom's necklaces this morning, and feeling all soft in my insides. They've found a lot of fluid in Mom's lungs and legs, and she didn't have much breath to talk yesterday, but wanted to hear all about Steve's PSC campaign. Again, not self-centered, but interested in the rest of the world. Inspirational. I push those death thoughts away, but the tears are spilling out of my eyes again, but it's not a bad thing. Really, it's not. It's just that I love my mom and dad so much it makes my chest all tight a lot of the time. Time is just so flipping erratic - I don't get it - why can't we all just be here all the time - immortal - eternal? Oh wait - we ARE - it's just this whole physical plane thing that messes the linear up with the circular. I keep forgetting. But still... every time I get to say, "Hi, Mommy" I'm grateful. And every time she says, "This is your mommy," I'm happy. That's what I remember.