Not enough time

I don't know if I'll be able to keep up, as Mom lifts up and out more and more, so I will write this morning and take it one moment at a time. Dad called us this morning to come in, so a friend of the family's watched Bill, who's here with me, due to some family issues back in Fargo. When it rains, it certainly pours. I will never forget this June. Ever. But it's all right. It's more than all right - it's just perfect. I believe that whatever happens is supposed to happen, from Bill's absessed tooth, to Erik's coughing up blood, to Jordan's difficulties, to Mom. Even if it's all happening at the same time - that's life at its messiest. Nobody ever said it was a straight line. Now we're in the difficult and intricate tango sequence of our lives. Careful not to slip up - you don't want to fall flat on your butt. That would be okay, as well, I guess.

I know that Mom understands us, but is too tired to talk, so I keep telling her I love her, and that she is loved, and keep stroking her face. She liked it when I ran a warm washcloth over her closed eyes. She smiled and nodded. I'm so glad I can be here with her and Dad. There is no other place to be. I miss Steve and Fargo, but they will be there when I am done with this. Everything will be there, but later, after I am through here. For right now, I'm just present, totally breathing into each moment, watching Mom's peaceful face as she lies in bed, breathing. Just breathing. She's alive right now.