so beautiful

Mom is so beautiful, lying there with her eyes closed. She mostly has a sweet slight smile on her face. Her face is almost unlined, and there shines from her almost a tangible light. I'm happy when I'm sitting next to her. There's a different energy around her, for some reason. The only time I really cry is when I see Dad with her. The way he looks at her, touches her face, murmurs. It almost does ya in, you know? But other than that, it is peaceful. We cut Russian Olive branches from the trees across the way, in the forest where I walk every day, and they are in a big vase by her bed. The whole room smells like summer by the river.

Everything seems clearer, brighter, deeper, if that makes sense. I don't feel like I'm in a dream anymore, but that I'm absolutely, stunningly here. I like how I feel. Bill took pictures of Dad, Nance, Mary and me last night, and I look different. I don't know what else to say but that. Something has changed inside of me, expanded. And it's so beautiful. Just like Mom.