ch-ch-changes

I first heard it around 2:30AM. I thought it was a truck rolling by. We live right on the interstate, so 24 hour traffic sounds are the norm. But it got louder, the rumbling turning to angry growling. Then the whole sky lit up white. Then came the BOOM. Not your average thunderstorm, this, but a total, holistic storm that included everyone and everything. All the clouds, air, sky. The wind picked up so fast it felt like someone gasping, or angry. Then the raindrops. Those are some FAT drops, I thought, then realized it was hail. And, yup - you guessed it - angry haildrops. There, and there, the wind seemed to say, pelting our windows, trees, cars. I got up at exactly the same time as Steve. It was almost comical, us both sitting bolt upright, reaching for our robes.

"Do you think we should go to the basement?" I asked him.

"No - I'm just going to check it out," he answered.

"Don't go outside," my lightning-paranoia voice said.

I lay back down. I wasn't scared, but it was powerful to feel these energies sweeping through the land, and it felt like it was changing everything - blowing away the old, anything that wasn't tied down, testing the strength of what was left. Would we stay? Would it be okay? What would it look like when the storm passed? Now it is morning, and the wind is still blowing. It is misty outside, and leaves cover the lawns and streets like a giant carpet. I haven't walked in two days, and my whole body is dancing to "I Will Survive" that's playing in the background. I don't know what I'll do with this energy, but I have the day to decide.

You will be walking some night
in the comfortable dark of your yard
and suddenly a great light will shine
round about you, and behind you
will be a wall you never saw before ...

Though you have done nothing shameful,
they will want you to be ashamed.
They will want you to kneel and weep
and say you should have been like them ...

Be ready.
When their light has picked you out
and their questions are asked, say to them:
"I am not ashamed." A sure horizon
will come around you. The heron will begin
his evening flight from the hilltop.

- Wendell Berry, from "Do Not Be Ashamed"