there are 3 things I want to say

The first is that I noticed the broken headlights and reflectors walking the underpass. I wondered what happened. Then I noticed the long dug-out tire tracks up the hill. I wondered if the car hit the underpass on its way down, or on its way up. I followed the muddy dirt tracks up onto the sidewalk, then onto the first house's lawn, then, amazingly, up against their garage, where the whole side was ripped loose. I saw a broken pot next to it, and wondered if it went all the way up to the house, but no, it was all there. As I walked I wondered how fast a car had to be going uphill to cause the whole side of the garage to be ripped off, what time of the night it happened, was the driver sober, what if someone had been walking at the same time, but then another quieter thought came drifting to the front of my mind - this is what most of us are feeling right now - like we are having a hard time staying on the road - and this is the destruction that is caused when we lose control and lose our way. We smash, crash, rip up, destroy everything in our paths, and we don't mean to, at least I don't think we mean to - it just happens, you know? So when I feel that way, I notice it before I crash, then I stop what I'm doing, close my eyes, take a few deep breaths and wait until I return to myself. Then my car turns back onto my road and everything is all right.

The second thing I want to say is that Steve and I ate at the Green Market today. If you've never been there, stop everything and GO RIGHT NOW. Andrea and Steve are weavers of magic with their food. It wasn't the meatballs and fettucine, nor the black beans, corn and avocado salad, nor the jicama salad. Oh no, it was the ball of handmade goat cheese, rolled in walnuts and dried cherries. I should've been full after my meal, but driving home, listening to 91.1, Hadyn, I'm thinking, looking at the beautiful changing trees, I unwrapped a ball and bit into it softly, slowly, to make it last. My mouth started watering before my teeth came together. Heaven, absolute pure perfection. I have never been this happy since, well, maybe yesterday sometime - these moments seem to be coming more and more, these moments of pure bliss and a feeling of total peace and gratitude and abundance. It can't possibly get any better than this. Thank you, Andrea, for the Green Market, and for following your passions - Fargo is a much better place because of you.

The third thing that I want to say is that I got an invitation to the Dali Lama's getting the Congressional Medal of Honor in Washington. While I'd love to go see him, I know I won't (this time), but I was struck with his saying on the invitation, and it is this:

World peace must develop from inner peace.
Peace is not the absence of violence.
Peace is the manifestation of human compassion.

And I remember the Dali Lama saying that his greatest fear is that he will lose compassion for the Chinese. The Chinese, who have caused his people such pain and loss, and he's worried about losing compassion for them? And I'm like, "wow, I don't think that would be my greatest fear," and it's making me pause more and more these days - am I kind? Am I gentle? Am I compassionate? To EVERYONE, not just those I love the most, but especially to the person driving too slowly in front of me, or too fast behind me? So I am inspired by the Dali Lama today, and if I could meet him, I think I would just put my hands up to my third eye, look him in the eye, smile, and bow deeply. Namaste is the feeling, but there aren't any words for it, I don't think.

And those are the 3 things I want to say. The weekend looms, warm and great-winded, before us. I will walk in the crunches, I'm sure.