Mom countdown - Day 15

What fun to stay in a dorm again, with a 7 year old, and 6 college students. I could still hear whispers and giggles coming from the living room around 2:30AM, but was grateful for a place to stay, as the Metrodome was still booked from all the victims staying there. We had a great breakfast with Kari's boyfriend's Mom and sister, who are traveling to Austria with Kari, then drove to the airport to drop them all off. I did pretty well until I paused one second before turning away, then started crying. I don't know why I'm so sad, but maybe it's just because there are so many endings and new, new beginnings. I don't always do so well with change. Kari said the same thing to me. You wouldn't really think that about me, maybe, because of my work - it's ALL about change - not knowing where to take my next step, walking every step of my life in blind faith in the unknown, just KNOWING that it's all right, all the time. Maybe that's why I like to see where my physical feet will be every step, because my spiritual footsteps are always walking on air, like "Raiders of the Lost Ark." He can't get across the chasm, until his foot accidentally kicks some dirt out into the air. AFTER the dirt is kicked onto the space, it becomes real, so Indiana has to walk into seemingly thin air, trusting that each step will appear AS he's walking on it. Now that's blind faith, and that's how life feels right now, doesn't it? One step at a time, looking down into just air, wondering how in the world you're going to make it across this energetic, spiritual chasm, yet knowing you don't have any other choices.

So I walk, and I breathe (I've forgotten to breathe for the last two weeks, I decided, driving back from Minneapolis, taking deep breaths and feeling like my lungs were coming back to life), and I make sure to list my gratitudes each day (driving through the driving rain on the way down to Minneapolis Thursday, right after I heard about the 35W bridge, I drove through the whole storm just listing what I was thankful for - it helped me stop thinking those scary, storm thoughts), and I remain present to each precious moment with my children, my husband, my parents, my friends, clients, neighbors, myself. I remain present to my life, and for right now, that's the most important thing I can do.

I'm resting overnight before I head to Bismarck tomorrow morning. I'm just a little too tired from the last two days with Kari - it was fun, but a little bit of running around and a touch of drama from the whole bridge thing. I can't wait to see Mom and Dad again. But I'll be anxious to schedule my 20 clients that have asked for readings - yikes, and I thought it would be a slow summer? What was I thinking? Hah.