Why Rye? (why not?)

Kim e-mailed. She misses me, I miss her. Shirley and I are going to do lunch. I miss her. But I want to needlepoint and watch movies and cook. I thought I was getting "better" about getting out, and I suppose I should just be gentle with myself (as Mom suggests) and not over-analyze it too much.

Bill and I stand in the kitchen this afternoon. "Bill, do you know how to bake bread?"
"Nope."
"Do you want to help me?"
"Sure."
We get out the BIG white bowl, the rye flour and rolled oats, the whole wheat flour and blackstrap molasses, salt and yeast. We mix the yeast and water, then add the salt, butter and whole wheat flour. It fluffs up tantalizingly in the next 50 minutes. We add the rolled oats and rye flour, then let it rise. I am almost halfway done with my last needlepoint picture that Mom couldn't do because of her macular degeneration. I have watched all three of my Netflix movies, and am now making my way through all of the 2005 Spiritual Cinema movies. Lord help me.

We punch down the dough, then let it rise for another 50 minutes. It's still rising - a VERY good sign. I've never gotten any bread attempts to rise. Now we cut it carefully into fourths and shape them into loaves, then let them rest one last time. Good. They're pretty fluffy. Into the oven for an hour. As soon as the buzzer rang, I had one loaf out on the counter, gently touching my hands on and off to cut the three thick slices. Steam rises off the whole loaf as I spread butter on top, then the honey so that it runs over the sides. I hand them to Steve and Bill, and I take a big bite out of my slice. Warm, soft, chewy. This is heaven, I think, and I need as much heaven as I can get.

I hop onto Steve's lap and give him a huge kiss. When we stop, I say, "and she bakes bread, too!"

I don't know if this is good or not - Steve says it's fine, healing for me to just hang out here and watch movies, needlepoint, and bake. I think maybe he's just appreciating having good food all the time AND the laundry done. Why rye oatmeal bread? Why not? It's raining, and chilly, and tomorrow I may make soup. Why? Why not?