playing the game

Don't look at your portfolio today. That's what Dad said. And Steve said. But I did. And I've now lost enough money to, well, I've lost a lot of money. But have I really "lost" it? Did I even "have" it in the first place? For all I can see, there are some numbers punched up onto a computer screen. There's no REAL money - just some numbers. Am I worried? It makes me a little sad to see how everyone's scrambling this morning, fearing that the whole world is falling apart, that the nation's in a recession, maybe headed for a depression. I sit back and try to figure out why. I know some would be quick to point fingers at the presidency, but I think that's a little too easy and convenient. In fact, I'd LOVE to have some of these people who are spending so much time complaining about the crappy job OTHERS are doing, would spend that same amount of time DOING something constructive. I don't know what they could do, but it doesn't help to spread that lower energy around.

When I sit back and meditate, I see myself sitting in a beautiful field, surrounded by gold. It's peaceful and quiet, and I'm extremely calm and happy. That's the reality I see for myself and my life - it's not about money or mortgages or portfolios, but I'm not in a position of losing my house, so I can't speak for those people. But I DO know that there's a lot more to this whole human experience than things, whether it's spending my time trying to manifest loads of money or trips or cars, or spending my time working at a job that brings me agony (won't do it - never have - never will), or struggling through the struggles because life is a struggle and I'm struggling (I don't believe that). I think it's not only possible at this time, but CRUCIAL, that we take the necessary time and steps to connect with our Higher Energies, our Higher Self, to God, and to STAY in that space, to FEEL what it feels like to reside in that reality, and commit to staying there. The more of us that are there, the more we can create THAT reality down here on Earth. It makes sense to me, and I sit here today feeling the difference between the two: fear or faith, hope or hopelessness, loss or love, illusion or inspiration. I know what I choose. The other is sheer madness, but go ahead and see for yourself - that's all that matters - what do YOU think? What works for you? What makes sense? We all have to figure this out for ourselves.

I wonder why there are those that make it all so difficult. They come to me for help - "HELP ME" they cry, so I tell them what I think they should do (my mistake). But they don't do anything, or do what they want to do, then paint themselves into yet another corner, and fling themselves at me saying "HELP ME." But I've run out of ways to help these particular people - I don't know how to help them anymore, so I hold their hands and say, "I love you, but you need to figure this out for yourself - this is your life. You need to live it. You can do it." We live the lives we see and believe. If you don't like your life, see another life for yourself. I'm reimagining my life every moment - is this what I want? Is this? What DO I want? I choose that. It's a process. But life isn't getting any "easier" down here on this physical plane. It's requiring us to become conscious creators of our own precious lives, not followers of others, but leaders of our own lives. Do what you need to do, but you may want to sit with other options, because a lot of the old ways aren't working anymore. That's what I've noticed around me, anyway. And I'm not playing the game anymore - the game of earthly realities - stock markets and mortgages and Lexus's (although I drove in one once and they ARE sweet cars) and big homes. Sometimes it feels like it's all coming crashing down around us. Why? I don't know for sure, but I think it has to do with peeling off the outer to reveal the true inner, and when I think about it, I only feel relief at where we're going. Home. To ourselves. Our true selves.