the ankle bone's connected to the shin bone...

Tammy's a godsend, coming to my house almost every Wednesday for the past year or so. She totally saved my life regarding my ears and hearing loss - she was the only one that could help that. So when I felt that huge bump behind my right ear yesterday, and felt my left ear "full" again, I know I needed her help. Here's the strange energy cycle as I experienced it this last time. I felt it all building up until about 3 weeks ago. I felt increasingly "squeezed," like people were pressing in on me. I was irritable and restless. I felt like I was just waiting for something. Then something popped, and I felt an instant release. That was 3 weeks ago. Then I felt instantly dizzy, my vision blurred, and my previously deep sleep (up until that three week mark) started becoming lighter, my dreams stranger and deeper. Then my whole upper torso twisted (seriously), and my hiatal hernia came back, which signals nausea and extreme heartburn. The whole upper left side of my back ached. Then THAT moved up into my shoulders and neck, as of last week or so. Nothing would help that soreness, front and back. Then it moved into my neck, so that even if I just turned my head I'd feel a shooting pain. Then onto the BACK of my head, where the prominent bump on the right was felt, sore to the touch. Then the tingling all over my head.

Now, at this point you may be saying, "Well, that's probably all just stress from the campaign and from all of your traveling. It's the change of seasons. It's flu season, that's the natural way that the muscle stress is felt - it travels." But I will respectfully disagree with all of those answers, seeing as how this cycle has been occurring with any degree of severity for the past 2 years. That's how come I've learned to become a little more confident and comfortable with it all, uncomfortable as it is. How come nobody's talking about this incredible recent energy shift? I wondered that, then I figured out that it was so powerful, many people who would be the ones normally talking about it (myself included) were enmeshed in simply getting through it. It's a little harder this time to step out of the experience and write about it, but I'm doing that today.

Hopefully what eventually happens is that you become accustomed to your body's unique way of integrating these new energies, and you can relax and enter into that state of openness that seems to make the whole process go more smoothly and be less difficult on your body. Think flood passing through your house. It's far better (and advised) to open up your doors and all your windows and simply allow the water to flow through unhindered. Otherwise, if you lock the doors and bar the windows the water will come anyway, but now it will crash through and destroy your home. I know that sounds a little harsh, but that's the picture I keep getting to explain the energy cycles. Again, I don't think it's imperative that you agree with my exact wording, but see if you are FEELING any of the things I talk about, then you can make your own sense out of it. Use whatever language you want - in the end, it's all the same, no matter the language.

I think the reason it seems as if everything's falling apart is because, well, it is. Anything old, anything that doesn't work, is dishonest or cruel or mean or hypocritical - all gone with a sweep of the hand. Go ahead and try to hold onto something that isn't supposed to be there. You'll only get tired, and in the end you'll still see that thing leaving your life. I don't know again, about YOU, but that's what I'm seeing. For example - our lives. We've been essentially doing the same things for the past 20 years, and now we stand poised for everything to change. We ask ourselves - will we move out of this house? Will we move out of this town? Will we move out of the state? Will Steve change jobs? Will I move more into writing, less out of teaching? I know I'll still see clients - that is my love, my passion. But there's a current underneath that's moving us somewhere. It's exciting, and a bit nerve-wracking. I think it's because my inner life is so rich and freeform that I rely on a constant structure in my outer life to bring me balance. When something comes up to challenge that status quo, everything inside of me is like "whoa nelly - lets' just slow this train down, shall we?" But it doesn't do any good. I think this whole process was supposed to go even faster. In fact, I think it WAS going faster, then most of us started really breaking down, freaking out, so the whole thing was s-l-o-w-e-d down to allow for an easier integration.

We are in new territory, doing new things, this integration of higher energies and cleaning out of the accumulated, dense energies that have been layering for millions of years in our physical bodies. But it's necessary, I know it is, otherwise our physical bodies couldn't house any lighter energies (I think of the Bible verse that says, "you can put new wine in old wineskins - the wineskins would burst", or something like that). So I go back to my basic instructions: trust, breathe, be open, be gentle, rest when you need to, and just keep going.

Oh - I was talking about Tammy. Wow. So, the title for today regards the current energy cycle. I ended up with the bump on the back of my head that moved around to both of my temples. She said my sphenoid bones were totally off-balance, the worst she'd ever seen them. The sphenoids are on your temples. I asked her if that could cause my nausea and she said definitely. So then I wonder if everyone else's "flu" symptoms are actually this energy manifesting as an imbalance in the sphenoids as well. There's no way to really tell, unless you have everyone get cranial sacral, and Tammy does tell me that a lot of people come in with the same complaints during the weeks. One week it's lower back pain, the next it's C3 problems (neck), and on. So I think there's a correlation. Does it really matter, in the long run? Not really, because it's all still going to just be continuing, but I think there's power in understanding. If I can understand what's going on, what's happening in my body, and WHY, then I can relax a little more, not worry that I've got cancer, or a tumor, or liver problems, or whatever you may think is associated with a current feeling you're having. It all changes, don't you see? One day it's your stomach, then it's your knees, then it's your neck, so you KNOW you're fine, physically - it's just the energetic things that are unfolding. And THAT you can deal with, right?