Happy birthday to you

Mom turned 86 yesterday. It's amazing, a miracle, who would've thunk? Not us. She saw her doctor a few days ago, and he said she FAR exceeded his expectations for life expectancy on this new drug. We almost lost her 9 months ago - the time it takes to grow a new baby - that's how much longer we've had her with us on this physical plane. She tries to figure out the greater Purpose, but I don't think that's possible. I think you just have to be grateful and walk on, which she does. Every morning she wakes up and is grateful for another day.

Do I do the same thing? Not now - I wake up with my long "to-do" list for Steve's campaign, and I put my nose down and get to work. Poor Steve - I worked 5 hours on his stuff yesterday, putting everything else in my life aside until after April 1st. It's okay that I do it, I'm committed to helping him, but when I asked him if he'd made calls to delegates, he said no. He has over 700 to call, and only 50 called. He doesn't feel well. I woke up nauseous yesterday morning, and it continues this morning. No morning sickness jokes, please - it's mildly insulting. Melissa and Bill feel queasy, as well. Part of this "in a new energy place" integration sort of thing, but it feels like I'm car sick or air sick - not a pleasant feeling.

I slept deeply, but after 10 1/2 hours, am still tired. So, no, it's not easy to just stay in that relaxed, happy state when I need to make sure I'm on task to get that next letter out. We need help - it's just he and I, and that's okay for now, but after he gets the nomination, we've got to get help. I can't do it - I've got Dad's book and my own work. I wonder if I'll ever do any work that's so important in Steve's eyes that he'd give up his own work for a while to help me with mine. I don't know. I just know that I did it for him, and that's all I can do.

I started this blog happy, but now I'm starting to feel crabby (I typed "cabby" - heck, maybe I'm feeling cabby as well). My tummy hurts, and I've got to write my column and Steve's letter before I go walking and see my clients for the day. Sometimes I just want to hang and drink peppermint tea. I want to feel the grace that Mom feels, without feeling the constraints that her life presents to her right now. I love my mom - I'm so grateful she's still alive, and I'm grateful that she lived to see her 86th birthday. She's outlived her mother by 6 years, and her father by 15. That's pretty good, Mom, pretty good.