Gitana

That's the feminine form of "gitan"; I guess our Rialta is a woman. Although I slept deeply last night, I remember seeing bright white flashes of light and hearing a great wind. Steve heard the thunder. I thankfully don't feel as tired today, even though I stayed up until midnight with Kari watching "You, Me and Dupree." So it still must be the energy integrating. How long will this all go on, I wonder, then I answer my own question - it will keep going on. So I breathe a sigh of relief and just kick back a little, waiting for the next wave. I wonder how many other people are feeling these shifts and changes? It seems that some people have NO idea what I'm talking about - some of my family, for instance. Two of my sisters get me, but the other two just love me, and for that I'm really thankful. It could be really worse - they love me, and that's the most important thing. Steve gets it (sort of), but my kids all mostly tease me. I DO say the word "energy" a lot, but hey, it's what I know, it's my reality. I think my kids provide the yang to my yin - help keep me balanced in case there's a danger that I spin too far out there. They're right there, saying, "Isn't there any food in the house that's not organic?" Nope, there's not - get used to it.

We barbecued steaks for Father's Day, along with homemade potato salad and wild rice salad. Erik had to work, and Jordan's sleeping, so it was just Steve, Kari, Bill, and me, but that's okay, because that was pretty much the story of their whole childhood - parts of the whole family together, hardly ever the whole family. I called Dad to tell him how much I love him. No one else had called him yet. He had a physical, and told me all his numbers. He didn't know if they were good or bad, so I helped him wade through the report. It was all really good, except for his calcium and Vitamin D, so we'll work on that. I love him so much, and it's funny, he was always my huge protector for all these years, and somehow now I feel like I'm wanting to protect HIM. He's 84, and has done such a beautiful job taking care of Mom these past 10 years. I just want to help him any way I can. That's what love is, isn't it? Taking care of each other? I'll take care of you, then you take care of me - we take care of each other, and we all take care of the whole world, and it's a beautiful place, right? I can't change the WHOLE world, so I'll just keep focused on my one beautiful life, and how I can live it to the highest of my abilities. Some days my highest doesn't feel very high, and other days, like today, I'm just so happy just to be alive.

So I breathe and smile and enjoy the reprieve in the transformation. Today - ah. Tomorrow? Who knows. I guess today is all we have anyway; more accurately, this MOMENT is all we have, and our lives are just a lot of moments strung together. From where I'm standing right now, it all looks pretty amazing, no matter what's happened before, and no matter what will happen tomorrow - it IS all good, because it's all god.