financial crisis? Chicken Little, much?

Is the sky falling? Is the world ending? Or is everything okay? I e-mailed my financial advisor last week and looking at my numbers in my portfolio, asked her what they were doing to protect my assets? They'd dropped over 30%. She e-mailed back that she had no idea where I was getting my numbers, but we were doing really great. Looking this morning, I'm down another $17,000 from yesterday. Yeah, really great. I e-mailed her back this morning and told her to just forget about it - I just hope my portfolio doesn't drop to zero, in the meantime.

Am I worried? Yesterday I felt tired and dizzy upon standing, disoriented. I thought it was from all the body work I'd had done to help with my tight muscles and re-root canal, but then I figured I may be tuning in on the global fear factor at play right now. Bush saying the economy is in danger, this bail out going on. I had a great idea, walking home from dropping Bill of from school - why don't we ask all the Wall Street traders and company owners who've made hundred of millions of dollars in the past years, to donate half of their earnings? Aren't we partially bailing everyone out because of somebody's greed? I know there are some consumers who were greedy, buying second houses, mortgaging up the yin yang (whatever body part THAT is), burning up the credit cards to get more toys (hey, I love things, too, so I'm not being unkind), trying to milk the system to get the most out of it. So is that wrong? Then what about the others who got into trouble legitimately? I haven't heard any of their stories, so I don't know, but I'm sure they're out there. I'm just a little peeved that I keep my credit cards at 0, only have one house mortgage and one house, don't have extra toys or go on trips, and now I, a taxpayer, have to bail somebody out. I feel like the responsible older child getting punished for the behavior of my younger, immature, greedy sibling. Why should I have to suffer? I know, I know, we're here to take care of each other, but what lessons will everyone learn if we keep bailing everybody out? If you're a parent, you know the answer to that question - they'll know they can get away with it, and they'll keep doing it (being irresponsible and greedy and immature). An answer? Tough love, but how do you do that with a whole nation? I have no idea. I'm just talking here, but I don't want to be a Chicken Little, running around saying that the sky is falling because I felt one clunk on my head. I believe that what's happening is supposed to be happening - it's all a question of balance - if it's true that the US (and other countries, as well - it's just not us) have gotten in over our heads, overcommercialized and overmaterialized, then something's got to give - it can't just keep going over to that side - the rich get more and more stuff, while the poor are dying in bigger numbers than ever.

I don't know, I don't know, I just don't know. Today I am giving money to the Diabetes Association, to WALKsudan, to the Fargo Public Library and to the Symphony. I keep the money flowing through to those who need it, and trust that what I need will come my way. Do we put our money where our mouths are (so to speak)? Do we believe in unlimited abundance? And I'm NOT talking about seriously working on manifesting winning the lottery or a trip to Hawaii -that's just more greed. I'm talking about being a PART OF the rest of the world - where do we fit into the whole picture? Up at the top, fat and smug, looking down at everyone else, relieved that we aren't like them? Or realizing that maybe we have an OBLIGATION to help others if we're in the financial position to do it, and I guarantee you if you're reading this on your computer, you're richer than most people in the world.

Maybe we can just stop a minute and think about it - do I really need another J Crew skirt? A new TV? No and no, so I won't buy them. Stop. Think. That's what I'll be doing these days, not automatic, not knee jerk, not fear. Just mindful presence and realization of the abundance that's found right inside of us, just by us being here and being us - that is eternal and never-ending, and if we really FEEL that, maybe we won't need to keep buying all the stuff, and then needing bailouts, and crashing the stock market, and I'm talking about ME, folks, nobody else, because I like to buy stuff, and I buy more than I need, and if I stop to think about it, it really IS a question of not feeling like it's ever enough, like my life is filled up by having more and more 'things' but I know that's not true - it's never been true. Sure, there are a ton of people that have more than us, but if it's too much for me, then it's too much for me, not comparing myself to anyone else.

Maybe that's the heart of all of this financial crisis - not that there's not enough money anymore, but we've just been spending it in the wrong way, and now we're given the opportunity to look at our lives and our patterns and make changes that will benefit us. I don't know - I'm just thinking out loud this morning (something I do a lot). It's pretty interesting, pretty deep stuff, though, from MY standpoint, anyway. But NO Chicken Little for me, that much I'm sure of. What will be, will be, sings Doris Day- que sera sera. I'm going to go look up those words on lyric.com...