jesus camp

I'd heard about it, mostly horrified accounts, but I'd never seen it. At first I didn't WANT to see it - sort of like "Passion" - I'd heard about it, but didn't want to see it (I still haven't seen it), but I was at the video store the other day and saw it sitting there. How can we have an educated opinion about something unless we actually experience it for ourselves? Then we're just like everyone else who frustrates us - those people who judge us based on what others have said, or based on what they've read. So I rented it.

And it sat here for almost a week. I needed to bring it back, so I took a deep breath and decided to watch. The first interesting thing to note was that before the documentary started, I felt great - really great. I had to pause to pick Bill up from art camp, and noticed that I felt really crappy, like I was getting sick. My head hurt, my stomach was really upset, and my body ached. I wondered how I could get sick so fast, then noticed that the longer I was away from the viewing, the better I felt. I noted that maybe it was the energy of the documentary itself that was causing a physical reaction in my body. Even that awareness seemed to help the "illness" lift from my body. So I went back to watch more. I had to pause 4 times to do other things, so didn't get it all in one punch. I was very interested in my opinions all along the way, and here are some of them.

The main youth pastor, Becky, was a very large woman whose first words to the children were, "We're not like those fat people..." and I'm thinking "Hmmmm - have you looked in a mirror lately?" Why did she choose those particular words? Fat people? Maybe she meant something else other than the physical. She spoke about how "usable" kids were because they were so impressionable, and that's what they're doing over in those "other" countries with Islam - at age 5 they're putting hand grenades into their hands. She also speaks of going to war for Jesus. That felt a little like the Crusades, and all the other years and situations of people killing in the name of Jesus, and that's not my experience of what Jesus's message was - in my world, his one word message was ... LOVE.

One of the things that WAS upsetting was the "lessons" one mother was giving her home-schooled son. It was all about Creationism, and how that's the only thing that makes sense, and how science isn't based on anything that's a fact, and did we really think we came from a pile of goo? That doesn't even make sense. No, the world was created 6000 years ago. Period.

Another upsetting thing to me was when they flew the American flag with a stand-up of President Bush, and they started chanting all sorts of different things at him. They also changed the words to the Pledge of Allegiance, saying things like, "We pledge allegiance to the Bible," and they'd put their hands on the Bible. Yes, it's all very enthusiastic, the kids with their faces painted in camouflage, touting sticks like guns and singing about the army of Jesus, and when Becky told the kids they were hypocrites and needed to go somewhere and repent, all of the kids collapsed in tears, some of them rocking in the fetal position just sobbing. There was a LOT of energy in that clip, but I'm thinking that we're surely not here to feel so horrible about ourselves and our lives, are we? That these sweet little children are crying like their parents have died, because someone told them they're sinners and need to repent? My goodness - I have to take another deep breath even as I'm writing.

There was a radio show DJ that has a show called "The Ring of Fire" and he talks about all of this - the scariness of the fundamentalists who are taking over the White House and the government, and they even interviewed Ted Haggard, right before his whole scandal broke. Interesting, his first lines on the documentary were, "Why do we know homosexuality is wrong? Because it's in the Bible." Ironic, Ted, given your circumstances of intimate dealings with that muscular man with the meth.

So many feelings I have, but the ones that surprised me were this: am I doing everything I can for my children? Am I raising them "right"? Is there something I should be doing to get them as excited as these kids at this camp? Should I be creating a spiritual camp for kids where they can experience their beliefs for themselves? Would anyone come? What's the answer to what we perceive to be the "wrong" activities of "training" little terrorists "over there"? Do we counter it hate for hate? Can I teach my children to love everyone? Is that possible? I asked Steve if he thought we'd done a good job with our kids, and he said, "look, Susie - they're good kids. They're not in jail - they're sweet - they don't do drugs." And I know that's true, but still, the documentary made me wonder about some things - IS there a great percentage of the population that's complacent? How can I best be a light unto the world? Am I doing enough?

I used to be like Becky - I can speak in tongues, I was "saved" at the Assemblies of God Church back in 1973, I went to Young Life, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and personal savior, I heard David Wilkerson speak, and was fearful that it was the end of the world for about 2 years. So I understand most of this, but I grew beyond all of that somehow - people have criticized my work as a psychic, telling me I'm not Christian, and I don't know how to talk to them about that. I love Jesus, I really do - I just don't love what organized religion has done with all of it. Jesus was a Jew, I also probably think he probably studied Buddhism in Egypt or India during his lost years, but he most assuredly was NOT a Christian. I don't think God is a man with a long white beard (that's Zeus in mythology stories), I don't think it's important whether Mary was a virgin (I don't think she was, but she could've been), or whether Jesus died for our sins, or whether he physically rose after 3 days (although it's possible - I believe in miracles). I believe we all have our own beliefs, our own realities, our own relationship to God, or whatever we call it, or even if we believe in a Higher Power at all - that's the beauty of being human - we're all different.

I can be judgmental, I know - I get frustrated at times. I get stubborn a lot, and angry at what I think are injustices. I don't know what to do sometimes, and I get impatient (who, me?), but I'm glad I watched the documentary I'd heard so much about - it's making me think. I don't know if that's a good idea or not, because I think a lot all the time, but I did it, and now I'm thinking, so that's that.