Mom countdown - Day 12

I slept well last night and took my daily 7AM walk. For some reason, I felt like I could walk forever, so I took a little longer than usual, even breaking a sweat. It's such a relief to feel so strong and healthy and well, capable, like I'm returning more fully to myself than I even was before. I did a tune-in for Melissa, and saw that we shouldn't berate ourselves for feeling crabby or angry or upset, thinking that that means we aren't spiritual, because we've arrived in a new place where we experience ALL of our emotions. There's no more energetic separation between the "good" or "bad" feelings, when we simply allow ourselves to feel whatever we're feeling, and know that it's all good - we're still enlightened, even if we don't feel like it. We walked through a door, and nothing is the same. Man, I've sure felt like that lately, especially with Mom.

When I talk about her, or think about her, or tentatively push my feelers into my emotions to see how I'm feeling, I always feels strong, even if I start to cry. I just let myself feel whatever I'm feeling, and I admit I'm still working with that whole judgment thing. Apparently that's a very strong issue for me. Perfectionism, compulsiveness, impatience, as well. So I just breathe and let my energies settle back into me, right at this moment, sitting here wondering if I'll ever be able to get everything taken care of that needs taking care of, before Bill and I leave for the Cities tomorrow, then Bismarck until next Wednesday. Worry? Drop it. Sadness? Don't anticipate anything, just feel sad when you feel sad. Gladness? Yes, always. Gratefulness - forever I feel that, really I do. There's just so MUCH to be grateful for these days.

What I am Grateful For:

playing Guitar Hero on "cooperative" setting with Bill (on medium!)
being able to breathe deeply
my new sloppy jo recipe, and soft whole wheat buns
feeling the warm sun on my face
watering the "Mommy" bucket on our front patio
hearing Mom's voice on the phone
my green blouse from Anthropologie
feeling the wind blowing through the air
laughing with Melissa, comparing notes on our ascension "symptoms"
what I'm learning through my clients about our current life situations (it's still a time of upheaval, but things are starting to calm down, like mud settling on the bottom of the lake after the weeds have been pulled up - how are YOUR weeds? I had a lot, let me tell you ...)
being married to Steve - what a guy he is - sweet, funny, patient (he'd need to be), and always interesting, forgiving, loving - what more could a girl ask for?
Bill Bill Bill Bill

I'll try to keep writing every day, but will be on the road for a while. Exciting news: I've been asked to keynote down at Fair Hills Resort at a Wild Woman's Golf Weekend in September (PSYCH!!!!), as well as a trip down to the Cities in November to speak to a large group, and Brigid's House in October. I love everything about Brigid's House, absolutely everything, especially my pink magnetic peace sign that's on the back of my new Toyota Hybrid...