Mom

I'm here in Bismarck. We got the call while en route back from Park Rapids with Melissa, after a fabulous day of massage and shamanic work at Brigid's House. Dad said it was Mom's heart, so I dropped Melissa off, and took off for Bismarck. I stayed with Mom Friday evening, but we almost lost her. At 3AM I called Dad back to the hospital, because we thought she was leaving us. Dad and I sat on the edge of the bed and we all held hands and talked quietly.

It doesn't look good for sweet Mom. When she has had enough, she will die quietly. We don't know when, but we are all tired. All of us sisters are here, but some are traveling home for a while to connect with family. Steve, Bill and Erik are coming down in a few hours; I miss them so much. Although it was an intense time, it is also aching beautiful, to see Mom saying good-bye to everyone, being able to give her back rubs and foot rubs, to joke with the nurses, to go shopping with my sisters and nieces at Target, to go out to dinner and just look at each other.

Life is so precious, and so tenuous, and so fragile, yet we are all here for now, and we hug and hold and laugh, and that is really all there is. LOVE is the connector, the thread, weaving through all of our hearts, even if we only meet briefly. I love my mom, and I can't ever imagine being able to live without her. I can't imagine not being able to call her every day just to hear her sweet voice, just to say, "Hello Mommy." But it's all good, and I know where she's going, and I know she'll always be with us.