Becky - this one's for you

For the people who have had change thrust upon them, unasked for, hurtful, devastating and life-altering, with seemingly no concern for anyone. Wives, husbands, children, dogs, families - uprooted and cast aside with no regard. Is it your fault? Did you do anything wrong, anything to deserve this current pain? No, no, a thousand times no - I only care about YOU and what this means to you. You weren't abandoned - I've heard it said that if something loves you, and you let it go, it comes back. Will he come back? Probably not. Again, I ask you - would you ever want someone like that back? Someone who is immature and needy, who simultaneously relies on you to take care of him, then resents you and calls you bossy? Tells you to lighten up?

No, sweet Becky - you deserve someone to treat you like the most heavenly being that was ever born, because you are. You deserve to have warm pancakes served to you in bed, and fresh coffee on the side with a touch of cream, just like you like it. Does he even know that? I don't know. I just know that you are in pain, and I understand - I really do. I won't pretend to understand why people do what they do - do any of us really understand it? Why do we say hurtful things when we want to hug, why do we turn away when we want to turn toward? How could he say he's found a soul mate after only 2 days, when you've been together for 18 years? You see, it doesn't make any sense - that's how you know this isn't about you - it's about HIM. So, now I'll ask you - what opportunities does this present for you? What good can come out of this? How can you create a new life from this moment on? What will be born in you?

I don't know your answers - maybe you don't know your answers, but I know you will not only make it through this - you will flourish in your new world, a world of kindness and unconditional love and unwavering trust. Did you have that before? Or was it a tightrope that you walked every day, not knowing for sure? You have yourself, you have your children, and your parents and siblings. You have your friends, and your sweet dogs. Hug Sophie - that will help. Breathe, watch "Scrubs," eat warm chocolate chip cookies (I'll bring some over to your house), read Glamour, or Good Housekeeping, or Cosmopolitan. Scream. Go for a long walk and try to get lost for a while. Sit under a tree and cry until you can't breathe anymore. Just do it. Whatever you need to do, or feel, or be. This is the sacred in-between time - in between two lives, in that empty space of possibility. Where are you? You decide. Just sit until you figure it out. That's all right. I'll be right here beside you.