talking talking talking

Can you feel it? The change in the air? I can, and I said I wanted it, and now I'm not so sure. We say, "Let's get going, let's go someplace new," and then the opportunity comes up, the wind sweeps through the dusty, old stuff, and you're like, "Whoa hoa - hold on a minute, compadre - I didn't mean THAT kind of change," and you back peddle, but it may be too late. Is it too late for us? Did we intend change so fervently that the Universe said, "Okay, you WILL change - totally." That's what I'm thinking today. I look around at my beautiful house, and everything seems different. We've been in this house for 12 years, the longest we've stayed anywhere, by over two times. What do we want to do? Where do we want to be? How do we want to craft our lives? I don't know I don't know I just don't know.

I love my life. It's simply perfect, and I wouldn't change one single speck. I woke up, made Granny Meyer's oatmeal cookies that I'd chilled the night before. I put together the ziti and sausage bake for dinner, put tin foil over it and popped it into the fridge - all before 8AM. Now I sit, having just installed Office 2008, watching letters on the screen disappear, hoping they'll eventually come back so I can read again. I'm told to "_o_t" my blog, and I'm assuming it's "post" but gosh, you never know, do you?

Maybe that's part of this whole thing - we've been given an update, and it's overridden all the old, and the stuff that's not compatible is falling away. So how do we communicate without half of the known? Without half of the letters in the alphabet? The bottom of this post looks like this: "S : : B , l , , S , " - now what in the heck does THAT mean? I just don't know, and I'm scared, living in this new place, seeing all of these strange things that don't make sense. I don't know what to do, so I'm just going to walk slowly every step of the way, looking at what's right in front of me and making decisions that way. I guess that's all any of us can ever do, anyway, isn't it?