I don't want to be in-formed

We get the daily newspaper because we want to stay informed. Next time we'll go online to save trees. Our overflowing recycling bin admonishes us daily. I glance over the headlines, hoping to land on something I want to learn more about. Trials, failing economy, Clinton and Obama arguing, homeowners in trouble, banks closing, airlines going under. On and on, my eyes flit and flee before the news. No more, I decide, and close it. I'm going to make up my own daily news, information I want to focus on and think about, so here's the Ekberg Tribune, resurrected from 1969 when the first edition came out.

The Ekberg Tribune
Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Yes, it's true, taxes are due today, but when you look at the total symbolic amount for what your work was worth for the last year, express GRATITUDE that you've made so much money. What abundance, what an amazing creature you are to have earned so much money, and just think of how many people and programs will be benefited from this check you are so lovingly putting in the mailbox before midnight.

My mom is still alive. Not only that, we talk every day, and her voice always sounds chipper. She and Dad are sharp as tacks, an amazing feat in these days of Alzheimer's and dementia. QOL, I always say (quality of life).

The snow has melted! Not a trace is left, and the brave little green grasses are poking tentatively out of the ground - "is it safe yet?" Probably not, but it's safe enough. It's always safe enough.

There's more news about the dangers of plastic in bottles. People are waking up!! They truly and really are. I have faith in the people of the world, and I think it's exponentially coming faster and faster. The next step (I'm praying)? Better food in the lunchrooms, hospitals, and the outlawing (yes, outlawing) of high fructose corn syrup. Oh, and incentives for organic farmers to start up (I have this vision that in the next 5 years the country will be populated by hubs of organic farms and meat processing plants and we will be able to get our produce from within a 100 mile radius - yes, yes, yes - I see it).

The US Government has started a Department for Peace, and I'm the representative from North Dakota. I may have to turn it down, it depends on how this whole school lunch program turns out - right now I'd rather head up THAT committee and get it nationwide.

Friendship Week has been extended to Friendship Millenium, and people are encouraged to call a friend every day and tell them what they love about them. People without friends have a hotline to call to get connected with other friends, or just to talk. It's 1.800.ALL.FRIENDS. Groundbreaking developments every day, so stay tuned.

Therapy cats are now being trained to rent out to lonely people, free of charge and for as long as you want. Jack is among the first to volunteer. He IS awfully fuzzy and cuddly.

Law goes into effect, IMMEDIATELY, that everyone has to receive and give, at least 5 hugs a day. If you haven't reached your quota, you will be required to ask permission, then hug a stranger. Always ask permission.

Well, there you have it - the Ekberg Tribune, full of possibilities for a brighter, gentler world. Please submit your story ideas to me and I'll be glad to post them. Have an enlightened day.