should we do it?

I don't know yet. I need to sleep on it. We looked at lake places today - saw a great one on Upper Cormorant - an exorbitantly huge amount of money, but then, it seems like ALL lake places are these days. But Steve had another idea. I wasn't exactly shocked, because it's been on MY mind a lot lately, more often than not lately. What it all boils down to is this: what will I regret if I don't do? What's important to me? What's important in my life? Family is number one. It's the reason I scaled back my work, it's the reason I cook beautiful meals every night, and the reason I fold the laundry. I love my family. How do we treat those we love? By spending time with them, by showing them we care in a myriad of ways.

I show my mom and dad I love them by taking an active interest in their lives, their health, and their concerns. I make phone calls, write e-mails, bake cookies and Moroccan Lamb Stew. I rub Mom's feet, and do healings on Dad's arthritic thumbs. I run to the pharmacy for their pills, then help Dad lay them all out. It is what I want to do. Do I have regrets? Yes, several right now, but that's not what I want to say. What I want to say is that I think the time has come for everyone (maybe everyone - I really only know for myself) to do exactly what they need to do in their lives, even if it's painful, or difficult, or hard, or you have to say good-bye to someone or something or someplace, or some lifestyle. We just have to DO it - whatever IT is, and I've felt these stirrings since January 1st, and it's not letting up. If anything, they keep getting stronger every day. I feel like I'm being led somewhere, and I still don't know WHERE. I just choose to keep walking. I wake up in the morning and I say "yes" all over again. I find myself saying, "I don't know" a lot these days. Erik asked me about karma this morning, and he said he didn't believe in it. I said, "You know, I really don't know. All I can figure out is what makes sense to me." And I guess that's all I have to say about that (ala "Forrest Gump").