13 Years, and an injury

13 years ago Steve and I got married. It was a small wedding, just family, in the chapel at First Presbyterian. I wanted to go to Las Vegas and get married by an Elvis impersonator, but everyone was like, "family," so we stayed in Fargo. I don't think we're celebrating much, maybe going out for a quick dinner while Bill's at choir rehearsal. The important thing is that we're still married, and still in love. There were those who bet against the marriage lasting, with two sets of kids and all the problems that come with that. Add to that the angry ex-spouses who were less than kind, and the troubles of the kids, and there you have it - late night screams and cries (from the kids, not us), tantrums, counseling, fights (okay, from us, not the kids), threats and reconciliations. They say the divorce rate for first-timers is 50%, the rate for second marriages is close to 70%, and the divorce rate for second marriages when both people have kids is somewhere around 90%. Well, I always WAS competitive, and always wanted to be in the top 10%, so by sheer will and determination, we not only stayed, we thrived.

I'm just kidding - what I want to say is that sure, we still have our difficulties, but we have a solid marriage, based on love, support, and respect. Face it, that attraction we have to each other helps a LOT, as well. We've been through hell (and I'm not even teasing) but we're still here, kissing each other every morning and telling each other we love each other (okay, that's a LOT of 'each others'). The key? Well, one would definitely be forgiveness. Another key? Patience. Another key? Blindness (such as in not seeing the open toilet lid (his) or all the clutter (mine)). Another key? Persistence. I admit it - some days I just want to coast, to not have to constantly work at the marriage or come back to it, but you can't. You just can't. Every day you get to come back to the other person and be together with them. Every day you have the chance to try something new, to say something different (or not say anything at all). Steve has a saying - do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy? That helps me sometimes when I feel the fight right on the tip of my tongue. I've learned to take a deep breath and just walk away sometimes.

I've learned to be really honest about my feelings. That doesn't mean Steve will DO anything about it, but I know he hears me, and that's important for me to speak, and know that I'm heard. I trust my husband with my feelings. He's the one I go to when I'm scared or angry. He's the one I tell when something fabulous has happened. He's still my best friend, and that sounds so corny, but it's not. You SHOULD be best friends with someone you're sharing your space and your life with, don't you think? Why be with someone you don't like? We still laugh (the visual of him trying to PUSH the mattress up the stairs with his foot last night still makes me giggle), and being in his arms is still the safest place in the world for me.

So there you go - 13 years and counting. Amazing.

Oh, and the injury? Shooting neck pains woke me up last night, and I really thought something was wrong this time. Tingling all along the left side of my head - a lump on my neck. Then Steve reminded me - I sit for hours in this chair, watching "Desperate Housewives" on my computer. So my injury? A desperate-housewives-related injury, and I mean that in more ways than one!