further reflections on spam

I have a sweet friend, Chris. We e-mail back and forth quite regularly. After yesterday's blog entry, she sent me an e-mail asking for clarification on some things I'd said. I thought I'd post part of what she said, and my response to her. I love this, don't you?

You said in your blog today ..."we are all inherently beautiful and perfect just as we are... and there is nothing that we need to improve upon" Okay, so here's how my mind works when I hear statements like these... they immediately go to the extreme examples of people like.... the sexual abusers and the serial killers and the Nazis and maybe Hitler and you get the idea....
and I think... well, hmmm.. some improvement there would be quite useful. So, I like the idea in theory and think of many many people that I could apply it to, but many that I couldn't. So, help me understand what you mean by this and how this statement applies to extremely violent and cruel people.


So I replied...
You always ask such great questions - they make me think and clarify my own thought processes. What I think is this: yes, we ARE all inherently perfect and beautiful just as we are, but we ALL need to sit with ourselves, get to know ourselves, and accept ourselves. I think violent and unhappy people are not too willing to do any of that work because they probably really hate themselves, think they're defective and inferior, and have no desire for self-exploration, self-acceptance, or self-love. They've probably gotten the message over and over again that there IS something wrong with them, and then they act it out on others, because they haven't explored any other options.

I've seen some pretty fabulous people who've grown up in horrendous environments, and vice versa. The difference? I think it's because these people take responsibility for their lives and their growth, and then they do the hard work necessary to heal whatever's hurt, and take active steps to make themselves happy, whether it's getting a new job, leaving a significant other, going to therapy, learning to meditate, asking forgiveness, or whatever. I think the basis of all "bad" behavior is that lack of self. Thanks for encouraging me to do some more self-examination of my views. Phew! Love - Anti-Spam or Auntie Spam

So, there you have it. If anybody has any questions, please feel free to e-mail me and ask them. If I have any questions for YOU, I'll do the same, okay? Because we're all in this together.